Tears in the Rain

 Tears in the Rain


  Second entry. What a day for it. Mouth gagged. Hands bound. Seeing and hearing all with no action to take. Zugzwang. The strongest cyborg... what a fucking joke.


  I had to cut me and the professor's chat short. Too many things were almost said that couldn't be taken back. It's not that he would hold it against me. How could he? Rather, I've begun to see that often the mistakes we make weigh on us more than anyone else. How long has it been since I thought like this? The bunker? The slaughter? perhaps even before conscription. Weakness that was carved out of me. Never out of him though. How did he keep going for so long, so soft and vulnerable?


  The house has fallen silent, leaving a deafening echo in it's wake. Each of us deal with things in our own way I guess. They've found comfort in one-another and for that I'm glad. The thief is being extra mischievous, giving the cop plenty of ways to distract himself and the psychic is acting as defense and prosecution as needed. Why not? He can see exactly how to balance the scales and keep the game of cat and puppy going on as long as it has to. 


  Our last day together had tasted so sweet, yet now sours into bitterest vinegar. He would've known. Kept me distracted and entertained. Like a child. A child that can't move. Now he knows what my next step will be if I ever take one. Will I tell him I'd never actually left and just went up to the roof? If so then he knows that I'm listening intently through the hollow spaces as I decide which hill it is I want to die on.


  Seeing the clock count down in real time is such a surreal experience. Precious memories that could have been are lost now to the ceaseless flight of time's arrow. Should I tell them all the truth? Is it better to be lied to until the end or to see it all coming? If I continue to do nothing, certain doom awaits. Doing something brings its own personal apocalypse. 


Zugzwang. ...It's raining.


Fulgur Ovid signing off.


Art by KOOS based on Ridley Scott's Blade Runner: https://twitter.com/K00S_


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