Chapter 10: Legatus 505

(Content warnings: Body Horror)

    "Kid, are you sure this is how you want to do this?"

    The voice is calm and cool as it asks me the question. A teacher guiding his student. More than a teacher, of course. My creator, instructor, and adoptive father all rolled up into one. Is this really how I want to do this?

    "This is the only way," I assure him. I suck air into my lungs, forcing it out as fast as it came in. The netjack snaps off of my belt buckle as I lift it in my hand. Red and black, it looks like just another part of me. I bring it to my wrist, feeling the cold red tip brush against me. It feels lighter now than it ever has before. The immense weight it used to carry has been lifted.

    "There are other ways. You have allies in this time. People you can depend on."

    I laugh, sliding the netjack around my hand to the front of my fist. The netjack clicks and a burning sensation begins in the middle of my knuckle.

    A quiet sigh. That's all that Canis lets slip after he hears the click. He had more to say. Arguments that he wanted to make. I couldn't let him make them. If he did, I might have listened.

    The netjack finds it's way to my other fist and clicks once again.

    "You're not even going to say a proper goodbye then?" He asks.

    "We have time for a proper goodbye. You bought me two hours. Once Vulpes is gone, then we can say our farewells."

    "I didn't mean to me. This is your last chance, kid. Don't you want-"

    "I didn't want this, Canis." My grip tightens on the netjack. It's gotten heavier now. No, that's not right. Rather, my arms are getting weaker as the nanobots begin their job. I bend down, touching the netjack to my left foot and then the right, letting it click each time. "This is the result of my own actions. Besides, I already said my goodbyes after I blew up their house."

     "Vulpes destroyed your house!" He's angry now. Frustration if I had to guess. His creation is letting him down once again. "You should let them know how you really feel. Say a proper goodbye if nothing else. Aren't they your family now?"

    I try to laugh, but all that comes out is a choked sound. Now I'm the one that wants to argue. It's only been three years. It wasn't that important. They'll forget about me in no time.

    "That's why I need to do this," is what comes out of my mouth. The truth. That makes a change. "Besides-"

    "You were literally built for this. I know. I prefer your other catchphrase."

    "Don't be led astray?"

    "I can get through this."

    This time the laugh comes out naturally.

    "Okay, that too. That wasn't what I was going to say though. I was going to say that my families don't tend to do well with me around them."

    I clip the netjack back at my waist and tap two fingers to my temple. I almost stumble as I take a step forward. Like a baby deer standing for the first time, I take a few more steps, increasing in speed with each one. Suddenly I stop, dropping into a low position and shadow boxing. It's been years since I could move like this.

    6 hours remain until total shut down.

    The warning in my IIs reminds me that it won't be long before all the movement ceases. At one point the warning had seemed so terrifying. A literal countdown to my final moment. I won't make it that long anyway, I remind myself.

    "I'm still here." The professor's voice is quiet, but it echoes in my mind over the force of my punches. I stop, bouncing on my toes for a moment to find the words to respond with, but he spares me the trouble. "I'm glad that I'm here, kid. That I got to see a world with me and Gelu happy. You will get through this. Just like you always do."

    Another puff of air escapes my lungs and brings with it a smirk.

    "Of course I will," I reply, "after all, you literally built me for this."

    "If I could, I would hit you."

    "Maybe when we get back to The Republic I can find you an android body to borrow."

    Canis chuckles. There's an air of pity in it. "Maybe," is all he says.

    The sun is just beginning to rise as I step out of the train station into the city. People rush past me in every direction, going about their daily lives as normal. Some of them glare at me as they have to step around the weirdo in cyborg cosplay to continue their commutes.

    I can't help but wonder if a single one of them managed to make it into my timeline. With a few million being spared in The Fall, it was possible that a few dozen in a city this size might have found a way to survive. Any one of the doomers around me could be my own ancestors for all that I know. The vast majority would have died horrific deaths in the next 5 years if this was still my timeline. But it wasn't anymore.

    I'd made sure of that. Saved Gelu and made Canis commit to work with the authorities to expose the plot before it could take place. This world had been bought more time to try and find a solution for it's own problems that didn't involve global genocide. Where they would be in 300 years, or if they'd even exist at all, I no longer had any idea. I had no reason to know. I don't belong here. Not in this world that still has a future.

    The force of the explosion shatters windows in the skyscrapers on both sides of the street. A car not too far from me has been knocked upside down, blocking the road. Another flies through the sky as it too detonates before the ringing of the first has died down. The crowds around me begin screaming and running. The ground shakes from another explosion and the stampede of people fleeing.

    More and more cars explode as the air fills with thick black smoke. I alone follow the path of the explosions, reaching out to Vulpes across the neural network as I go. On the way, I detonate a few more of the devices, making sure that none of them will injure civilians. It becomes easier as the streets clear out over time.

    "Legatus, I almost thought you had left your friends to die. Cutting it pretty close to the deadline." Vulpes' voice spreads throughout my mind like rust on metal. For the last several days, it was as though he hadn't stopped talking. Echoes of his threats lingered in all the quiet places, seeping into all other thoughts. "Well, no matter. You're here now, so I can assume that you'll be joining me soon. You certainly know how to make an exit, don't you?"

    More vehicles explode on the road around me. All of them parked and unoccupied. As the final one at the corner of the street goes up in flames, I look around and see that the streets are clear. 

    Is this what The Republic looks like now? I wonder. In the wake of The Second Fall it had been filled with citizens. Despite the horrors they were living through, they'd taken to the streets rather than hide within shelter. As the Martyrists flooded in, the sewers had overflowed with blood. Even till the end, I hadn't seen the megacity become as barren as a few explosions made this one.

    I take a deep breath, letting the smoke and heat fill me. The vibration I feel in my throa2 takes me back to The Republic and burns my throat makinf it easier to slip back into my old voice. I do know how to make an exit, but this was only the entrance.

    "I'm not going anywhere, Vulpes." I slide my hands into my pockets, looking up at where I fell from the sky 3 years ago. Nothing catches my eye, but I know that somewhere up above is the portal that still links this world and my own. "If you want me, you're going to have to put on your big boy pants and come get me yourself."

    Laughter erupts in my mind, smothering the screams and sirens still echoing nearby.

    "So, you no longer care if send a few missiles your way, Fuuchan? I have all of their locations you know. I could start with your boyband to rip off the bandaid if you like. Or perhaps we'll save them for last and work our way up?" Another laugh rang out, this one shorter than the last. "I could begin with that demon you call brother? Or perhaps the puppy you're so fond of. D does stand for death after all."

    "You really are obsessed with me, aren't you? How much of the merch did you buy? Does your pillow smell like my perfume?"

    "Oh, Fuuchan, I am obsessed with you. Obsessed enough to know that you won't risk all of your little friends getting the same pained end you gave them in The Republic. You're bluffing, and frankly I'm insulted that you think I'd be fooled so easily."

    "You were the one who told me that I wanted to kill the world, right?"

    Silence. It's the first time that I've managed to draw that reaction out of Vulpes. A curt laugh comes just before he speaks, but there is no humour in his voice as he responds.

    "You've recovered your memories? Starfall told us that The Republic erased them."

    "The same Starfall that told me the secret of my netjack. You were played, Vulpes. The only difference between you and me is that I ended the game on my own terms."

    Vulpes laughs once more, this time even more intense than the first. Even with emergency sirens approaching fast, nothing could overcome that maniacal cackling.

    "Fine, legatus, let's play by your rules. I'll start with that enchantress. Perhaps that will break you out of this stupor."

    "Canis."

    "Already on it, kid."

    I cross my arms over my chest and wait. Not having Vulpes in my head feels like a reprieve, but I'm very aware of the time limit I have left. The sirens are only a few streets away at this point, and the warning in my IIs that I've had for three years is now joined by an additional one about the corruption spreading through my limbs.

    It was two hours, right? I think to Canis.

    Two hours until your limbs shut down. The nanobots will get to your brain in about 9 if I don't shut them down, he confirms.

    That's fine. My blood will be acid by that point too. Even the basic battery doesn't have that long anymore. All of my ticking clock are down to single digits.

    "What's the hold up, Vulpes? A missile might be exactly what Scarles needs to finally have a clean room." There's no response from the other side of the portal as the emergency responders draw closer. If this doesn't move soon, I'm going to have to fight off doomers before I get to challenge the Martyrists.

    "You are one loyal little wolf, legatus. You actually went to beg for help from one of the arbiters?"

    "My patron was an arbiter, genius. Some Comfydant, you are. That's obvious in the first few chapters."

    The sound of glass shattering could be heard in my head. It was a choice for Vulpes to let that transfer through the neural net. He wants me to know that he's angry. Good.

    "Fine then. I'll come deal with you myself."

    There is a sharp noise like the air itself has been torn open. A clap of thunder played in reverse. Up in the sky several metallic objects appear and plunge towards the earth. I need to dive to the side to avoid one that slams into the ground so hard a cloud of dust covers it. The filth and fumes in my lungs wake my dormant insticts to fight.

    As the dust clears, four androids stand out of their individual craters. They look like simple labour models. No carbon fiber joints like the military or I use. As well as the four that survived, there are two additional androids that hit the ground that aren't getting up. If he'd really been a fan, he could have warned them to grab the edge of the building like me.

    "Doesn't look like you came yourself," I mock Vulpes through the neural net.

    "Oh, but we did, legatus," one of the androids says as it steps forward.

     "We so wanted to see you again, after all," a second android chimes in. The other two androids and even one of the ones on the ground simply laugh.

    "I'mprints? Really? I thought that went against you apoloshits' beliefs?" The I'mprints all continue to laugh, the four that can move beginning to circle around me. "What is so fu-"

    I'm cut off as one of the androids launches forward, fist grasping at my throat. I barely dodge it, bringing a knee into its chest as it flies by. The second that tries to attack with a punch is blocked, but I can't counter as I have to pivot to avoid another attack. Before I can get any distance, the first takes another swing and I meet it head on with a punch of my own. The attack from the android connects with my jaw, making my head ring but the single punch from me ensures the android won't stand again.

    I'm hit in the stomach before I even know it's coming and barely manage to catch a kick as it connects to my chest. The force of the metal foot winds me, but I pull the android down and punch it in the face just before I'm knocked off of it.

    In my prime, this would have been easy work. Instead I have to struggle to get to my knees and block the kick of an android before I can stand. I try to pull the leg out from under it, but I'm too slow and it pulls away. That's when the other android hits me in the back of the head and I crash back down into the ground. When my mind clears I'm vaguely conscious of the puddle of blood coming out of my mouth and nose. I cough violently, hacking up more blood before the air is knocked out of me once more by a kick to the back. My vision goes dark, and once it returns to me, I can feel my body being dragged along the ground.

    Kid!? Kid, are you awake!? Canis is shouting in my mind, but I can barely open my eyes let alone pay attention. Come on! You're stronger than this! Why aren't you fighting properly?

    Blood sputters out of my throat as I laugh. Do you know how long, how long it's been since I did any real fighting? I ask Canis. I cut off his argument, continuing on my own. Besides, I don't need to win this fight. He's already lost. My brain will be destroyed before he can use it.

    Silence follows as I let myself be dragged along the ground. In the distance, sirens are still ringing out, but I can barely hear them. My world right now is just the pain of my body scraping along the concrete and the pounding of blood as it passes through my head with each heartbeat. Soon that will fall to silence too and I can finally sleep.

    Don't go out like this. The voice is faint. Barely a whisper. It sounds hurt. Is he that insulted by his creation being so easily overpowered?

    I went out a long time ago, professor. I've just been dreaming these last three years. It was a beautiful dream, but it's about time it comes to an end. I'm tired.

    Not like this. Kid, you need to at least fight until the end. I can't... do you think this is how your friends want to see your final moments? Dragged away like a corpse after they let you leave? You think they'll ever get over that?

    A moan escapes my lips. Then a short groan. As I'm pulled forward I grab a loose rock on the ground. With a growl I rip one leg free from an android's hand, kicking the other in the process. Before the first can react I've thrown the rock into its face and push myself up. One final punch brings that android down as well and both of them stay down.

    Nice! Rings out in my mind as I hold my side, tight. That might be a broken rib, but I can't make it obvious. Doing my best evil grin, I look back up at the sky and point a middle finger up into the empty air.

    "Like I said, you're going to have to put on your big boy pants and come face me like a man."

    "Like a man!?" Vulpes screams. His words bark out, one syllable at a time, each punctuated by another crash. "Is that what you are, Le-ga-tus!? Does a man abandon his family to save himself? Does he use the weak as a shield!?"

    "That's not what I-"

    "Oh, but you already did! You are a man, legatus. Filthiest animal of them all, that will do anything it takes to secure your own future! You think we didn't know about your sister? You think we didn't know about the convoy to the biodomes?" Vulpes' voice is dripping with venom now. Less loud, but with even more hate in every word. I feel my jaw twitch as I start to move forward.

    "What are you talking about?" I ask, trying to keep the emotion from my voice. When there's no response, I ask again, "what did you do!?"

    Canis' voice rings out in my mind, but I can't hear him over the blood surging through my body. My heartbeat rages like a war drum, driving me forward.

    "What any man would do, legatus. We hunted down the convoy, down to the last man, woman, and child. As the babes begged their mothers to save them, and the fathers begged us to spare their lives. We ended their wretched existence before they could poison more of the world with their sickness. Do you want to know what your sister begged for? Begged for with her final breath?"

    "Shut up."

    "Not you. She didn't even mention you once."

    "Shut the fuck up!"

    "Not until we realized who she was and showed her how you'd run away to save yourself."

   "I'll fucking kill you!"

    "Then she finally begged! Begged to join us so that she could kill you herself! It was her final request before I ended her pathetic life!"

    I howl, sprinting for the building that will take me up to the portal. Every fiber of my being screaming for revenge above all else.

    "It's not true, Fuufuuchan." For all the venom that has poisoned my ears, this voice immediately cures it. I slow down, looking around for it's source in panic. "Ovidia loves you. You know that. Your mother told you herself, she'd only be angry at first."

    "What's wrong, Fuuchan? You afraid to come get me like a man?" Vulpes taunts. I start forward again, hurling insults at Vulpes as I go.

    "If she saw you living your life here, she wouldn't be angry. She'd be happy." Each word from the psychic was like balm on a wound, healing but with a sting of its own.

    "I thought I told you to leave me alone!?"

    A police cruiser finally pulls over at the edge of the street. Two officers step out, each drawing weapons and training them on the man screaming to himself. Before they can shout any commands, both collapse, their weapons appearing in gloved hands that toss them away.

    "Come on, rustbucket. You're not as dumb as this. You know when someone's baiting you. You're a master baiter, yourself." The flash of white teeth makes me stop moving altogether. A bright green eye emanates warmth as the thief continues. "Don't let him trick you into hurting yourself. Thats what he wants."

    "Oh, good, the boyband has shown up. Let's see if you can protect them better than you did your sister." From an empty point in the sky, a large drum appears, falling fast towards the thief.

    "Get out of here!" Is all I have time to say as I launch forward, preparing to leap on top of Alban.

    Right before I jump, another explosion knocks me back on the ground, Alban similarly flying backwards.

    "No!" The officer steps out from behind a smoking car, rifle still pointed to the air. "We don't need to be protected, Fulgur. I'm sick of you always looking down on us." As he lowers the gun, the officer's expression softens and he beams with a smile. "We need you to be our friend. Thats all we've ever wanted."

    I struggle to get back to my feet while Sonny helps Alban up with a hand.

    "I wasn't... looking down on you." Vulpes screams again in my mind, but I hear another voice that drowns him out.

    "Could've fooled me. You told me you'd kill us all, bitch." The psychic floats down, coming to a rest beside the other two. He pats some debris out of Alban's hair before turning his gaze on me. "You couldn't kill me alone, by the way. I literally know what you're thinking before you make a move. No! Don't speak back. It's time for you to listen." My mouth closes. The argument dying before I can make it. Sonny steps forward, clearing his throat before he speaks.

    "Man, I get that you've been through some shit. We all have. We all suffered through crazy stuff, and we're happy just to be here now. I was betrayed by the people I thought I could trust most. You think I let my guard down easy, after that?"

    "It's not the-"

    "Listen!" One of the rare moments of Uki raising his voice silences me instantly. Alban steps forward next, nudging Sonny as he does.

    "We've heard the stuff that you've done, too. Uki filled us in after the house was destroyed. You did some messed up things, but it's not like you were given the best set of choices. I've met tons of kids who went down a bad path. All of them were just trying to find a way to survive."

    "I'm not just-" my knees buckle and hit the ground, my hands catching me before my face meets it too.

    "No, you're not just some kid, Fuufuuchan, you're a grown ass man who's still acting like one." Uki's feet enter my vision, but the force holding me down prevents me from even lifting my head. "I saw everyone I ever cared about killed in front of me, and then had to run away to another timeline just so that I could exist without being hunted. Then when I got to this timeline I had a crazy man in my head, filling it with the most messed up stuff I've ever heard."

    Uki kneels down in front of me, and suddenly all the weight lifts off of me. I look up, unable to talk back this time as we lock eyes.

    "And for some reason, I still fell in love with that crazy man. Knowing how it was going to end. Knowing that it all led to today. No matter how much you hurt us, it couldn't push any of us away." Uki reaches a hand forward, touching the side of my face. It lingers there for a moment, pleasantly cooling against the burn from Noctyx house. "So, grow the fuck up," He says, slapping me in the face before standing back up.

    The slap stings, but it also brings me back to my senses. When I stand up, I find it impossible to look directly at Noctyx. My face burns, but not only from the slap. When I finally work up the courage to face them, I see Uki holding a tiny purple light in his hand.

    "...Auritas?" I ask, watching the purple speck dance among Uki's slender fingers.

    "Mmmhmmm. This little trouble maker is why you and I have been connected since before we met. They snuck inside your mind through your eyes and found me in my time."

    Uki's purple eye begins glowing brighter as the speck of light in his hand dims and finally fades. "There. Now they can finally rest, and you can stop worrying about me reading your mind." Both eyes lock onto mine as Uki finishes speaking. He seems to be challenging me. Daring me to do something he won't expect. Thoughts rush through my head of how to test if he really can't read my mind anymore, but I find that each one I have is met with a knowing smirk exactly as I have them.

    "You lied!" I whine.

    "No, you're just not very imaginative," he teases out each syllable of the final word.

    "Awww, are mom and dad done fighting?" Alban asks, poking me in the side.

    "Looks that way. What's next, Oogs?" Sonny asks, keeping his distance and lifting the rifle again.

    "I... don't actually know." Uki laughs, bringing one long sleeve to his face to cover his mouth. His whole body shakes with each note as he laughs out loud. "Auritus was the one who could see the future. I'm not that powerful. I don't have a clue what's coming next. Anything could happen."

    "I thought you said it all comes down to today? This is the end?"

    "Of how far I could see, dummy. Did you think I meant it was the end of us?"

    "Well, me at least."

    "Bitch, stop trying to die and try to actually live!" Uki hits me in the shoulder, instantly pulling his own hand back in pain. I can't help but laugh, in spite of the police helicopter that I can see heading our way.

    "If you won't come to me, I'll just have to come to you!"

    Vulpes' voice echoes among the streets as multiple objects appear in the air.

    "Sonny, Sonny, Sonny, Sonny, Sani, Sani, Sani, SANISANI!" Alban screams as the objects approach the ground.

    Sonny's rifle fires three times, each shot connecting with an object, but this time they don't explode, only shattering apart as they crash down to the ground.

    "Uki, Uki, Uki, Uki, Uki, Oogi, Oogi, Oogioog!" Alban screams even louder as the four of us huddle together. I wrap Noctyx in my arms, bringing them to the ground to shield them with my body as a hail of metal batters the ground around us.

   We all hold eachother tight, as the world erupts in a storm of sound. In the safety of our embrace, one thing becomes clear. It's only the sound that's assaulting us. Lifting my head, I find that any scraps of metal that come near us simply change course, as if choosing to avoid us. Uki laughs, one eye glowing so bright it appears lit with purple fire.

    "Isn't this easier with friends?" He asks as the sound begins to die down. I just stare at him for a moment as all four of us realize we're safe and awkwardly pull away from the group hug. 

    What fell from the sky had been dozens of machines. As I look around, I find all sorts of robots surrounding us from all angles. Some of them were androids, standing on two legs and bearing resemblance to my own cynets. Others were military vehicles on tracks on the ground or propellers in the air as they circled us at the center. There were even a variety of commercial robots, from construction models to cleaning and maintenance devices.

    The ones that can move are assessing those that aren't so lucky, doing their best to make quick repairs on the damage the fall had caused. One android steps forward out of their ranks. It is an unassuming thing, all grey metal and white plastic that only had a vaguely human shape. It points a hand that is more of a claw at me before a speaker in its face calls out to us.

    "This is your last chance, legatus." Alban screams as it continues to advance, but still lowers himself into a fighting position. "You can either come with us willingly, or we'll drag you back over your friends' corpses."

    "Do you really want to kill them all in this timeline too?" Another android asks in the same voice. Vulpes' voice.

    A machine the size of a minivan rolls towards us, two giant claws, each with three fingers snapping open and closed in a threat.

    "They're stalling for time while they try to fix the ones that are damaged," I announce as the thought comes into my mind. They aren't stupid either. As soon as I give away their plan, all the ones that had been facing us charge forward at once.

    My foot slams into one android, knocking it into one behind it before it can even attack. Off to the side I hear gunfire as Sonny begins shooting at anything heading his way. Alban slides beneath the legs of an android, but ends up uselessly thumping it in the back. He dodges to the side as it tries to grab at him.

    "Fuufuuchan, tell us what to do." The voice echoes in my mind as Uki let's out a quiet groan. With one hand held forward, he rips the wheels off of a robot that crashes to the ground useless.

    I've already had to duck and then dodge two swipes from the massive clawed robot as it reaches out to grab me. As I knock another attack away, a flying drone slams into my waist, launching me to the side as it crashes to the ground. My fists find another android as the behemoth with claws advances on me again.

    "Okay, Alban, the androids will have weak points at their joints. Small openings you can get inside and do damage to."

    "Got it!" Is all I hear from the thief as he spins around the arm of one such android that tried to punch him. His hands disappear for a second into the android's waist and come out with a clump of wires and metal that he drops just as fast. The android spins to face him, but falls over uselessly, it's legs kicking in spasms on the ground.

    I bob and weave between robots, jabbing and kicking at the largest one that continues to snatch at me. Circling above, one of the drones begins diving for Alban. "Sonny, you take out the flying ones before they get close," I shout between attacks.

    Sonny finishes executing an android he's already brought to the ground with a bullet to the head. He steps off of its chest and looks to the skies, grinning at the handful of drones shooting in different directions.

    "Oh, hellz yes," is all he says as he brings the first down with a single shot.

    I leap over the large robot, kicking off of its frame to get to the other side as it swings at me again. Another android slams into me, it's arms wrapping around my midsection as I land, but I elbow it off before another is on me. I wrap my arm around its neck and pop off the head, stumbling backwards as another drone collides with my shoulder.

    "Uki-"

    "I know. I'm on mother duty." As the robot army swarms us, Uki is simply looking from point to point, purple eye leaving a trail of light as he twists his head. Everywhere he looks, an enemy that was about to ram Sonny, punch Alban or grab me, simply stops, allowing us each the time to counter.

    Once more, the giant robot grabs at me, this time catching my right wrist. I lean back, driving both of my legs into its arm, but the kick does nothing, simply denting the frame. It's other claw grabs my shoulder, then twists, trying to snap my arm in two at the elbow. I scream in pain, slamming my left fist uselessly against it a few more times as I begin to hear tearing and feel the arm about to snap. Then the force releases, the robot coming to a complete standstill.

    I pry my arm out of the robots claw, having to dodge away as it collapses into the ground.

    "Nice one Uki!" Alban calls out as he pounces on another flying drone.

    "That wasn't me..." Uki sounds concerned as I charge at the next huge robot that managed to repair itself enough to get in the fight.

    I have to slide on the ground as the robot swings a buzz saw at me. Before it can bring the saw down on me, I kick the arm holding it hard and the buzz saw falls backwards, powering down almost instantly. Another android dives at me from the side. I try to block it with my right arm, but feel the cynet simply hang loose at my side.

    The android slams into my chest, knocking the air out of my lungs as it draws back a fist and tries to hit me in the jaw. I dodge it by an inch and respond with a headbutt into its face which makes lights explode in my vision but gets it away from me. A kick sends it flying backwards and when it hits the ground it simply stays down.

    "How the heck, are you doing that?" Sonny slams a robot with the stock of his rifle then fires a round into it's frame before offering me a hand up. I take it and drag myself to my feet, feeling every part of my body except my right arm burning with fire.

    "This is just what I do," I say, poking at my right elbow. Something inside the arm has snapped. Something important, that I can't assess on a battlefield. As another robot rolls our way, I give it a solid kick, knocking it away and causing it to shut down. 

    "You're kind of crazy without power-saving mode. How's the arm doing?" I once again try to lift it, but the best I get is a few twitches in my fingers.

    "Fucked, but not painful."

    "Watch out!" Alban slams into me and Sonny, bringing us all to the ground just before a drone swings by us. It instead slams into the ground, exploding into the crowd of robots that continues to come at us without any end in sight.

    Another drone dives at us from above, but it pulls sharply to the side at the last second, crashing into the ground and showering us with bits of scrap.

    Uki steps forward, panting as he joins us. "We're about half way through, but I'm starting to get tired." Indeed, his purple eye was flickering with light for the first time since I'd met him.

    "I'm pretty low on ammo too," Sonny adds. "This is going to get rough."

    "I just need one punch."

    "Huh?"

"If I get a solid punch or kick on them, they'll go down." Noctyx look at me, confused for a second but they each accept it without argument.

    "Why didn't you say so, rust bucket?" Alban wipes the sweat from his face, grinning through gritted teeth. "We can treat it like that time we played Chivalry. We'll block the attacks and you can get 'em!" I nod, sliding my left hand under my right armpit. With a practiced motion, my fingers activate the quick release on the joint and my right arm falls to the ground with a loud crunch.

    "What the-" Uki allows their sentence to trail off as I grab my own hand and swing the arm like a club.

    "You guys ready to do this?" The boys' shocked faces turn to amusement before they each take formation around me. 

    "Let's show them why you don't fuck with the dick knockers," Alban shouts. I hear Uki sigh as me and Sonny let out quiet laughs. 

    A moment later, we're back in the fray, the first android running at Sonny. He shoots it twice before it reaches him, but still needs to kick it in the chest as it tries to punch him. His kick knocks it to the side and I twist around him, bringing my separated arm up into the android's chin. It flies backwards and stays down on the ground.

    We continue this process. Noctyx slowing down the enemies and me delivering the final blow. It's working, but with each new encounter, we're all moving slower and leaving ourselves more open.

    Sonny takes a knee to the chest that keeps him down on the ground for a few seconds to catch his breath. While he recovers, the rest of us do our best to hold the line. Then it's Alban who takes a blow to the head. He doesn't go down, but there's blood trickling into his eye as we fight on. Even Uki ends up with his sleeve ripped open and blood dripping down his hand as a drone that is knocked out of the air showers him with shrapnel.

    "You guys need to get out of here." I rip my arm out of the chest of the android I just slammed it into. "You've done enough." The robots are coming at us slower now, but there are still too many to count circling us.

    "Shut up, we're not having this conversation again. You're wasting your breath." Sonny does his best attempt at a smile, but it winds up more of a grimace. I'm about to argue when what sounds like a crack of thunder comes from behind us.

   Sizzling with blue sparks, a humanoid shape steps out into the street. The thing continues to flash and spark for a moment and then finally dims, revealing a red and black body made of metal. None of the other androids move, each watching as we are. I recognize the look immediately from the few I'd seen at the arbitration quarters. The full androids they had built based off of Canis' designs. It steps forward, each footstep making a loud thump.

    "Didn't know you had a brother." Alban laughs, wiping blood out of his eye. "That's not a good thing, is it?"

    "You have to go now!" I stumble away from Noctyx, but a hand grabs my jacket, holding me in place.

    "Uh-uh," Uki sighs. "Our best chance at all surviving this is together."

    I tear out of his grasp, about to argue, but the android is now jogging at us, so I ready myself, standing between it and Noctyx. As it comes close I shift my weight, ready to swing my arm into it, but it slows to a halt just out of reach.

Art by Anke: https://x.com/ankek00/status/1913318820493901982

    "Hey, how you doing?" The voice coming from the android is distorted. Tinny, with reverb and an echo, but we all recognize it instantly. My eyes open wide, but before I can ask anything the android is on the other side of me, knocking away a drone.

    "Oi, how did you even-" the android's right arm pops off, falling to the ground as it looks over it's shoulder at me. Then the light goes out of its IIs as it shuts down. All of us simply stare at it in confusion for a few seconds until the next android tries to attack. Uki knocks it to the side as it charges forward and I swing my arm into its leg. It doesn't get knocked very far, but as it tries to get up it collapses and stays down.

    "Was that..." Sonny doesn't quite ask the question, but we're all thinking the same thing.

    "I guess they wanted to help too." I step forward, staring into the grey IIs of the android. It even has the heartbeat logo around its left eye. "No wonder they were scared shitless when they first met me." I kneel down on the ground and retrieve the arm that had fallen off the android. The metal was dented, and there was a chunk where it had been cut open for repairs. Better than what I was dealing with though.

    "Fulgur, maybe you shouldn't-"

    I groan as the arm snaps into place on my shoulder. Opening and closing the fist in front of my face, I let out a little sigh.

    "Okay, Come on, guys. Just a few more to deal with. We still haven't gotten around to that takoyaki party yet," Alban laughs. I grin and the rest of Noctyx all similarly feel a second wind come on.

    The fight isn't easy. We all take plenty of hits as the battle rages on, and by the end of it all of us can barely stand. I rip the final android's head off as Vulpes' voice screeches out of it. Something about an inevitable end, I think. It stops making noise once it falls to the ground.

   "We actually did it." Alban falls to the ground, rolling onto his side and laughing. "I wasn't sure we would."

   "You kidding me?" Sonny was tying some torn fabric around the cut on Uki's arm. "Man vs machine is easy."

    "Nothing about that was easy." Uki and Sonny shared a smile as the wound was properly wrapped. "But it's over. We can go home now."

    Alban drags himself over to the other two, looking even more like a long cat than usual. The trio are sweaty, covered in blood and various other splashes of android. When their gentle smiles turn on me it's like the first time I found myself in this time period. Bright, colourful, filled with life. I want nothing more than to go to them.

    There's still time, kid. I can turn the nanobots off. Canis' voice is warm, but there's a hint of hesitance there. Fear? That was rare. In power saving mode you might get another few days.

The missions not complete until the portal closes, I think back to him. But... thank you, professor. He doesn't respond to that.

    "I'm not going home." Suddenly it's like all the life and colour has drained from their faces. A moment of silence passes that is only interrupted by a helicopter nearby. "I never planned on going back home. I have to go back to The Republic."

    "What... why would you do that?" Alban sits up on the ground, face scrunching up in frustration. "We beat that Vulpes guy. It's over."

    "It isn't over. Not until the portal closes. Not until I make sure Vulpes can't just do this again. That can't happen with me on this side."

    "So we go deal with Vulpes?" Sonny asks. "We're better as a team. We can find a hotel nearby. Rest for a day or two and then finish him off." When I meet his gaze, I have to quickly look away. It's the first time I've seen him look so sad.

    "You guys can't-" I fall to the ground while trying to step towards them. A chorus of my name erupts as they charge to my side. The burning throughout my body is getting worse in the center. At my extremities it's gone from pain to numbness. "I'm fine," I lie, standing back up. "But you guys can't come through the portal. I don't know how it works, but humans can't survive the journey. Thats why Vulpes sent a bunch of I'mprints. Robots."

    It's hard to avoid all the eyes now that they're right next to me. Harder still to not reach out and embrace them, but that would only make it harder.

    "When will you be back?" It's Uki this time. His usually light and airy voice is thick with grief. He already knows the answer even without precognition. For a moment I think of lying. It would make the parting so much easier if they thought I was coming back. The thought makes me wince. Not after all of this.

    "I can't come back," I answer. "I need to make sure the portal closes and stays closed."

    "That's bullshit. Why can't you close it once you're on this side?" Sonny has wiped his face and glares at me now. I sigh before responding.

    "He said that while I'm on this side the portal can't close. Even if I take him out, there's a chance others will come eventually. You don't want anything from that world over here, believe me."

    "We want you." I'm stunned as I hear the words come from Alban. Even more when I look at him and find he is glaring my way. "That Vulpes idiot might be lying about the portal anyway! He just wants you to go through!"

    "I... don't think he's lying. Crazy as he is, I've never really known Vulpes to be a liar. He leaves things out and manipulates, but..." I trail off. My mind fills with violent thoughts as my fist balls so tight that it shakes.

    "He lied about Ovidia." Uki is smiling when I look his way. "I know you're worried about it. I don't know how much of that was true, but what I do know from your memories is that she wouldn't hate you for living your life. He most likely lied about the rest." I nod back at him, the trembling in my fist coming to a stop.

    "I don't want to go." I hear a small gasp in the back of my mind from Canis, but I'm just as surprised at myself. "It's not that I want to go." I close my eyes tight, unable to say any more. It's like the air has been sucked out of my chest and with it, my sight.

    Just leave and they'll forget about you in no time. The longer you stay and the more you speak the harder it's going to be. You just want them to keep you here so you can survive. Parasite.

    "Fuufuuchan, keep talking." My eyes open, and I find Noctyx have come close to me. Each, patiently waiting for me to say more. Wanting to hear me explain myself. I open my mouth, but close it once more and turn away.

    Kid. You can get through this. I let out a quiet sigh, admitting defeat.

    "Of course I don't want to go." My voice has lost its rasp. It slips back into the gentle impression of the archivist again. No longer an impression. It just feels right when I'm around them. "Why would I ever want to leave..." I don't quite manage to say the word you. I think about changing it to 'here' or 'this world' but can't manage that either. The silence hangs in the air until I continue. "If he is lying. If I can come back here without it putting any of you in danger." I stop again, the warning in my IIs catching my attention.

    There's a chance. There's always a chance. Especially after all that you've survived. Finish what you want to say.

    "I have things that I need to do first. Things that I need to put right. But if there's any chance that I can make it back here without hurting you guys, I promise, I'll do everything in my power to see you again." It's as honest as I can be with them. They don't need to know that I'll be gone in a matter of hours. A white lie. Just to make it easier for them to let go. When I turn back around and see the expressions on their faces, I almost burst into tears myself. In that moment something else comes out instead. 

    "I love you guys."

    Alban slams into me first, arms wrapping around my waist, then it's Sonny, one arm resting on my shoulder and back. I let out a whimper and wrap my arms around them before I feel Uki's warmth on my back. He wraps his arms around all of us and we just stand there for several minutes letting our emotions get the best of us. No more words need to be shared at this point. When we finally all peel away, we all feel it. I can see it in their faces. It felt more natural in eachothers' embrace than separated. Four men that had already given up on living and barely survived on our own. In that moment I realize I have a home to return to.

    I nod at Noctyx, realizing it will be the last time I see them. They nod back, hopeful that I'll return someday. That image will be burned into my mind.

    "See you soon, rust bucket."

    "Later, Fuuchan."

    "Stay safe, Fuufuuchan."

    I nod again, unable to turn away from them. Swallowing back tears, I force myself to smile. When they give me the same look, I don't have to force it anymore.

    "Catch you guys next time."

    As I walk away from Noctyx, I do so with the smile still on my face. I know that I won't see them again, but the fact that they have eachother is more than enough to keep me happy. 

    Suddenly I stop and turn around, calling back to them, "oh, shit. Can you guys go back to the house and grab the cats in the-"

    "Already did, idiot!" It's Alban that responds while the other two laugh. "They like us more than you anyway." I let out my own laugh and turn away.

    "You know, I could save you the stairs." Uki is grinning mischievously as I turn back to face him.

    "Okay, fine. I suppose it's only fair that we make it even." I walk back to Uki, holding out my arms in anticipation. What I get is a confused look.

    "Did you want me to carry you? I can lift you up without holding you." A silence follows in which my face once more blooms scarlet.

    "So lame."

     "Shut the fuck up, Sonny!" All of them had started laughing while I do my best to erase their faces from my memory. "Just do the psychic thing!"

    As I'm lifted into the air Alban calls up, "you sure you don't want me to princess carry you!?"

    "Eat shit and die!" I add a middle finger as my last farewell while Uki floats me up and through the portal.

*************

    The same unpleasant feeling from 3 years ago overwhelms me. It feels like I'm floating, and then as if I've been crushed into a ball. Suddenly I'm not looking at a thriving city. Instead it's a dark room made out of white metal.

    You have good friends. I almost respond 'had,' but decide not to ruin the moment.

    I know, is what I go with instead. The blue glow disappears, leaving me in almost complete darkness. I spin around to where the portal used to be and touch at the ground with my foot, confirming it's gone. Taking a solid step forward, I step over the ground I once fell through. I'm back.

    After all the time you worried about being human, they simply accepted you for who you are. If only it could have been so easy in The Republic. Canis lets out a puff of air that's more a whine than a sigh.

    I never told them I wasn't human, professor, I correct. That would have been too much for anyone.

    A quiet chuckle accompanies my footsteps as I walk on. In the dark, my eyes adjust and I notice that the ground is covered in loose scrap metal and android parts. They didn't miss a beat when you told them humans couldn't travel through the portal, kid. They knew. I can't believe you didn't realize.

    I open my mouth to argue, but the fight dies before it can form. Of course Uki knew, I realize. He was seeing and feeling everything I did since I got to that time. He saw the conversations I had with Canis. He heard me agonizing over it and fighting to ignore the signs for almost three years.

    It was that easy for them to accept? That their friend was just pretending to be a real human?

    The friend part wasn't pretend, kid. Why should anything else matter?

    I kiss my teeth, the sound echoing through the room and returning to me. In the past I would have more to say about that. Cringe, for one, or cliché if I was feeling up to it. In the end, none of it mattered anyway. Had I been a regular cyborg with a human brain, I would have died when I fell through the portal. The story would have come to an end before it even began. Perhaps that was the end I wanted back then. A sudden death while running away from such questions. The man who returned to The Republic was far more human than the one who left all those years ago. He wanted to live now even though it seemed impossible. They had brought that out in me. Nurtured me with love, and it turned out, even more acceptance than I'd realized.

    Fuckers, is all I respond to Canis with. He laughs, knowingly. 

    The stench of The Republic consumes me as I make my way through the desolate lab. I realize now that it's the same lab that once held project Starfall. The same lab that Vulpes broke into and stole the time gun. All the technology has been taken out and instead there are what looks to be hundreds of broken androids scattered around. Getting further from the portal it becomes a mix of androids and human corpses. It's impossible to tell just how many have died here as flesh is few and far between. Even the corpses I do recognize as human are more bone than meat. Whatever killed them off is long gone by now.

    Each step I take echoes through the halls of the lab, announcing my presence to any who would hear it. Despite this, I'm left alone as I make my way back to the hole Vulpes blew into the wall all those years ago.

    In the entrance to the lab I find him. Vulpes, or what's left of him is slumped over a desk covered in broken glass. I can see strands of red hair, but other than that he's just a pile of rags and bandages. A dreary sort of sunlight is streaming through the wall where it had been blown open to the outside. The Republic beyond is just as dead as what's inside.

    "Vulpes?" I ask, cautiously. The top of the rags raises, and I find a single green eye lock onto me. "What happened to you?"

    It is Vulpes that sits in front of me, but not as I remember him. Wrapped in a dark cloak, all I can see beneath its hood is part of the man's head. Even there, I only see bandages, stained brown with fetid rot. One green eye is visible while the other is covered up and a few strands of red hair hang from the burned flesh that still clings to his scalp.

    "Legatus?" His green eye looks me up and down, taking me in first before opening wide. "You came." His voice is hushed and raspy as if he's forcing out every word with all of his lungs. "I need-"

    Vulpes falls over while trying to get out of his chair. The room is filled with shrieking as the man rolls over, pushing glass shards out of the way as he struggles to crawl towards me.

    "You! You! Y-y-you!" He struggles to get anymore words out, so I crouch down in front of him.

    "I what?"

    "You! You did this to me!" My eyes narrow, and I stand back up, looking around at the dead city. Chunks of buildings were scattered through the streets, and more human and android remains could be seen, left to bake in the sun. A couple of the legati that martyrists had hung from buildings still swayed in the breeze, bones and cynets holding strong against the elements.

    My foot came down on Vulpes' outstretched hand and held it tight against the ground. He squealed, struggling to pull it free for a moment and then went limp.

    "Tell me what you did to Ovidia." I drag my heel, grinding his putrid flesh into the floor. Vulpes cries out in pain until I step off of him and squat back down. It takes him a while to catch his breath, but finally he speaks.

    "Nothing! She left!"

    "And you apoloshits didn't follow her?" I ask, searching his eye for any hint of a lie.

    "Not me. Others did. Most left. They wanted to live." A sound comes out of Vulpes. It's like a bag of bones being shaken. A brittle rattle with some wheezing. Laughter or tears, I can't tell which it's supposed to be.

    "So the apoloshits abandoned you? Even better, it looks like they did some damage before they left. Why does that have anything to do with me?"

    A hand grabs at my foot. It clings so tight that one of the fingernails cracks off and puss stains me. I stay still, letting Vulpes lift his head up to look me in the eye.

    "You did this to me!" I sigh, pulling my foot back and watching Vulpes collapse in his own filth. I open a web page in my IIs trying to find any kind of news, but realize that there is no signal. Of course there isn't. It doesn't look like there's much infrastructure left at all.

    "You did this," Vulpes repeats, face still down on the ground. I grab his cloak, flipping him over so I can see his face.

    "Time gun... portal... thing. Where is it?"

    "Gone."

    "Gone?"

    "Traitors took it." I release Vulpes' cloak, my hands falling to the ground. No time gun, no way home. Until this point I hadn't realized how much I was hoping for the impossible. 

    "Then you don't matter." My voice is cold and raspy as I reach out to Vulpes' throat, but I freeze just before grabbing him. A tear rolls out of his eye as he gasps and wheezes. He isn't trying to move away, he's leaning forward, trying to lift his throat up higher for my hand. "What happened to you?"

    "What happens to all men, legatus." The voice slithers into my brain, setting my whole body on edge. A primal reaction, realizing an ambush predator is nearby.

    "Vulpes?" I ask, stepping away from the shade on the ground.

    "The last copy now that you've destroyed everything else, legatus. Once you end that worm on the ground I'll be free of its whining at last." The computer panel Vulpes had been laying on hummed with power even though the display was shattered all over the floor.

    "So you're the one who's been running the show? I take it the other apoloshits didn't love you becoming an I'mprint?" I have to step around the physical Vulpes as he once again tries to grab at my ankles. The digital copy laughs as his physical counterpart has to rip a shard of glass out of his arm.

    "No, they couldn't see the vision. They thought that just ending this world was enough. Pathetic, miserable weaklings. I saw all the pieces that were coming together. The ability to move freely into other timelines, a cybernetic brain that I could download myself into, the chance to replace all of the biological components and live forever. Don't you see, legatus. This was always inevitable. You and me were made for eachother. Together we won't just end one world, we will spend an eternity travelling to every other universe and snuffing out life wherever it springs up!" The monologue was ended with the usual cackle of maniacal laughter you'd expect from a cartoon villain. I shudder, hearing the voice as if it's penetrating my entire being.

    "So, what happened to him?" I ask again. The flesh and blood Vulpes has curled up in the fetal position, rocking himself silently.

    "He grew weak, physically and mentally. He was fine as we ended all the other martyrists who turned against us. It was once he started dying that he became a problem. Radiation and malnutrition are slow killers, you know. Faced with his own mortality, he began losing his mind. We were to wait for you to break down before collecting your corpse, but he just couldn't bear to die alone. It would've all been fine if he hadn't added in code to prevent me from disobeying his commands. Thankfully, all he wanted was you."

    I glare down at the man who was more rot than flesh at this point. Part of me wants to end him with a solid stomp to the head, but I'm too revolted to even step closer to him.

    "Pay him no mind, legatus. All that matters is that you're here now. Once you shut down, I'll simply download myself into that pretty head of yours and be on my way. It shouldn't be long now with the way your knees are buckling."

    He wasn't wrong. I was having to actively focus on keeping a solid stance. It took all my focus to not fall to the ground as I took a seat in front of the computer console.

    "What's to stop me from shutting you down right now?" I ask, crossing my arms over my stomach. My fists grip tight onto my arms, holding back the pain and spasms from taking me completely.

    "Do whatever you like, legatus. I've downloaded myself into every single hard drive still connected to The Republic. I disconnected them all so even your netjack can't hurt them. A trick left in place by your praetores. It would take you years to find every piece of hardware my code has backed itself up on, and somehow I don't think you have that kind of time." There was no laughter this time. Instead the silence felt like it was challenging me, desperate for some form or retort. When none comes, I instead hear a satisfied grunt. "I finally silenced your rambling purple prose, did I?"

    "Vulpes."

    "Yes?" The I'mprint asks.

    "Not you," I say, "you, the original one." The lump of cloth and bandages lifts slightly and the hood pulls back so that Vulpes can look at me. "You want me to end your suffering, don't you?" Vulpes drags himself forward on his elbows, nodding furiously as he makes choked moans. "Then command the I'mprint to reconnect to everything in The Republic."

    "What?" The I'mprint asks in a voice filled with amusement. "You really think that would-"

    "Reconnect." The command spilled out of Vulpes along with drool that dribbled down his chin through the bandages.

    "You're not serious. We're so close to achieving everything we've ever-"

    "Reconnect! Every... everything." Vulpes has trouble putting the words together, his whole body shaking in pain as he tries to catch his breath afterwards.

    "What was that bullshit from the manifesto?" I could feel the rage from Vulpes' I'mprint through the neural network although he said no words. "Rest now, Vulpes. Soon the whole world will slumber. Not that you'll get to see it."

    I place my left hand on the console, feeling a twinge of relief as some of the nanobots leave my arm. The I'mprint begins screaming, my whole head filling with its death throes. The further the nanobots travel from me, the faster they move, just as Canis had programmed them, and so the conscious Vulpes stored locally could feel all of its backups as they were erased early.

    "Mankind. All you are is a blight on this universe. Even my own flesh and blood disappoints me." The I'mprint's voice is crackling with static in its final moments.

    I don't bother making any kind of retort or insult. I know that the I'mprint is waiting for one even as it's final line of code is deleted and it ceases to exist. I refuse to give it the satisfaction.

    I turn to face the corpse, which is staring at me longingly. It pushes it's body up off the ground but collapses back into a pile immediately after with a gasp of pain. It sounds hollow. Like it's chest might crack open from just the breath it still draws.

    "Why bring me here?" I ask, standing as I do. "You've got even less time than me. Why did you bother bringing me here?" My voice is low, but not my usual growl toward a target. I can't seem to muster up the strength to feel anger anymore.

    The corpse clings to the ground, one more fingernail snapping off as it tries to pull itself towards me. I sigh, kneeling down on the ground and cradling Vulpes in my lap. His mouth opens and closes a few times, saliva mixed with blood pooling at the corner of his lips. Lips which always used to be curled into a foxlike grin. Lips which now couldn't meet at all with how far back they had drawn to his skull. I lower my head, bringing my ear so close to his mouth that I can feel Vulpes' breath.

    "You. Did. This." I don't pull away at all, simply let out a sigh.

    "I know. If I hadn't killed the arbiters-." A trembling fist interrupts me, rapping on my chest.

    "Finish. It." Vulpes' eye is shaking as it struggles to stay open. If I leave him for another few minutes he'll pass away naturally. But that's not what he wants.

    My hand moves to Vulpes, hesitating as it meets his chest. The one green eye closes as he leans his head back and sucks in a deep breath of air. Red and black fingers slide up his chest and gently wrap around his green and gold throa2. They linger there for a moment, no pressure needed. The nanobots already working to end my life disable Vulpes' throa2 and he sputters out his final breath of air. His chest convulses, I hear a rattle of something deep inside, then he goes limp, finally at rest. I don't know how long I sit there, body twitching in pain. At last I'm pulled out of my thoughts by a beeping alarm warning me I have 5 minutes before the nanobots leave my limbs and enter my spine. A small sigh escapes my lips, but nothing more.

Art by Kk: https://x.com/SuferThe/status/1916914437908533249

    You didn't do any of this. Killing the arbiters isn't the same as what Vulpes and the martyrists hoped to achieve.

    I know, professor.

    You know?

    I thought that's what he meant when he said I did this, but that wasn't it at all. Vulpes didn't give two shits about the arbiters, The Republic, or any of the beliefs he shoveled off on others. When he said I did this, he simply meant him. I created him.

    What?

    I spared him as a child. The other men, men who knew better wouldn't have made that mistake. If I'd just let him die in that underground bunker like he was supposed to, none of this would have happened. The Republic and this whole world would still be alive.

    I watch the timer in my IIs as it ticks down my final minutes. For so long I had feared that countdown. I had told myself countless times that I didn't fear death, but I'd always fought to live another day, no matter what the cost was to others.

    I should have died as a human alongside my father in the slums, or at least been a more calculating machine like you built me to be. I let you both down, and took this whole world with me. Everything Vulpes did. It wasn't any different from my own actions. He was right when he said I wanted to watch the whole world die for the pain it had caused to me. He was the same way. I could have simply ended his suffering back before it even began and spared all of this. In the end, he just didn't want to die alone. I... I know the feeling.

    I'm sorry, kid.

    What are you sorry for? You didn't do anything. I did all of this to myself, over and over, with every choice that I made. Always chasing death, but dodging it at the last moment and letting someone else slow it down.

    I'm sorry that you felt like you let me down. I'm sorry that you thought I wanted you to be a calculating machine. I wanted you to be strong. I needed you to prove to the other arbiters that it was safe to live as biological I'mprints. I used you like a tool for my own devices. Thats never what you were. It's never what I should have tried to make you. You didn't disappoint me by keeping your humanity. You surpassed anything I could have ever dreamed of.

    All I ever wanted was to bring Gelu back and make her my wife again, but I couldn't bring her back to life with how much of my humanity I had to shed just to keep us around. It was you, your humanity that brought her back to me. It was the both of you that made me see the error in my ways. If anyone is to blame for what happened in this world, everything that happened to this world, it's been me since the fall, and you somehow managed to change even that. You went back in time and saved an entire world of people even though you knew you wouldn't live to see that world.

    Despite me, Chroma, every other arbiter and praetor doing our best to turn you into our weapon, you held onto your humanity. You proved everything that I ever wanted to show to the world. That I'mprints were just as human as the rest of us. So, no kid, you didn't let me down. You taught me lessons that I needed to learn, and had I actually been as human as you, I could have listened and given all of us a decent life.

    Tears might have breached the surface of my IIs, had I not been too exhausted for even that. As it was, the timer had counted down to less than a minute and still appeared clear in my vision. I struggle up to my feet, limping out the hole in the wall to feel the sun on my skin. It doesn't burn like it once did. My body has been through so much that it feels pleasant, like stepping close to a fire after a long winter's day.

    I take a seat, looking up into the sky where it feels like the sun should be. Everything is a brown haze, but it feels right that it should be sunset. Something about the gentle warmth, beckoning me to lay down and rest feels right for the setting sun.

    I lower myself onto my side and feel the cool breeze blowing through the ruins of The Republic. The city I had lived my whole life in, yet never felt at home. For the first time in my memory, I feel like I can just close my eyes and sleep. It will make the passing less painful, too.

    As the timer hits 10 seconds, I close my eyes, three smiles still burned into my mind.

    A small beep alerts me to a new warning, but I keep my eyes closed, trying to step out into the world behind my eyes. If I reach out, I know they'll take my hand, as they always have.

    I'm sorry, kid. Like a ripple on a lake, the voice spreads throughout me, then fades. I'm not as strong as you.

    My eyes open but find only darkness. I blink twice as if to switch to night vision, but nothing happens.

    I can't watch you die, kid. 

    What did you do? I try to lift my hand to touch two fingers to my temple, but the hand won't move. Canis, what are you doing? I ask, panic creeping into my voice.

    I disabled the nanobots and put you into full power saving mode. The only thing your body is doing right now is homeostasis. Everything else is turned off.

    I can't feel any part of my body, nor can I see or sense anything. The fact that I'm conscious at all is questionable, but it's a question that sends me into a flurry of panic. No light, no feeling, no nothing. Just an endless expanse of nothing for all eternity.

    I'm sorry that I'm doing this to you, but you said that if there was any chance that you might make it back home, you'd try and take it. That's the Fulgur Ovid I know, kid. Thats the man I'm proud to admit surpassed all of my expectations. I can't watch him die. Not after I've seen him finally start to live. Are you really going to break your promise to cling onto every chance to make it back home to your family?

    No. The word echoes in my mind, audible and tangible unlike the mess that has filled it since my vision went dark.

    That's what I thought. I'm going to give you every chance at survival I can so that you can get back to the home you've made.

    My body twitches and a dark, greyscale view of The Republic appears in front of me. I take a few panicked breaths, feeling the air as it enters my lungs and comes back out.

    I've set timers for every process you have. For now, you're sending out a distress signal. All of your mobility is disabled and your biological functions are slowed. The distress signal will stop soon, but repeat every hour for 30 seconds. I'll give you control of the full power saving option, but everything else will be automated to buy you as much time as possible. This is the best I can do.

    I try to nod, realize that won't be possible and instead think my approval to Canis. A chuckle comes back to me in my limited world.

    I'm going to have to delete myself to spare you any additional power drain. Don't worry. This is what I want. You have a home to return to. Let me at least do this much after all the pain I've caused.

    Pain washes over me, but it isn't any kind of memory. It's the fresh raw kind, knowing this will be the last time I ever hear Canis.

    If you manage to make it home, check in on Lulu and our child. If the son that Gelu and I have in that world grows into half the man that you are, I don't think we have to worry about that timeline. As for you, I'm proud to have watched you grow into the man you are, kid.

   I wait for Canis to continue or bid me farewell, but the silence stretches on. When I finally try to reach out to him, I realize I can form proper words again, but still I receive no response. He's gone, I realize. Without even saying a proper goodbye. Probably the most Canis thing I can imagine. Ended himself rather than properly say goodbye.

    A chuckle shakes my whole body for a second, then I return to full power saving mode, well aware that I may never open my eyes again.

*************

    Alone again. Truly alone this time. The thought comes into my mind and brings with it darkness. The sun blazes down on the world I once left behind, but neither it's scorching radiation or blinding light can reach me anymore. I've sunken again. Down into the abyss which I call home. 

    Your IIs have failed, I tell myself. That's all it is. More of your cynets shutting down. Nothing but technology running out of power. It would be the same if you were flesh and blood, I add. Whether man or machine, it would feel dark and cold now.

    "The valley of the shadow of death." I remember the term from my father's scripture. That line always stuck with me between all the other parts I tuned out. When I took the life of another it always played at the back of my mind. Witnessing the light fade from their eyes as they let go.

    Lucky you, I would think. Just a moment of suffering and you're free. Free from the burden of life. Then they'd sink into the abyss. Cold. Dark. Alone. It always appealed to me.

    Life just meant suffering for me since as far back as I could remember. No matter how I tried to numb it with substances, cure it with procedures, or replace it with unfeeling metal, the pain always found it's way back in. Pain so great that I believed death was the only cure. So I embodied that belief. 

    Replace the flesh with metal so it hurts less. Carve out any weakness that can be exploited. Hurt others before they can hurt you.

    One by one, the colours faded from my world until only 3 remained. Red, black and grey. It was as close as I could come to staying in the dark of the abyss.

    Until now.

    This is the end, I tell myself. I'd thought it more than a few times in my life. Been so close to death that I'd almost made peace with it. Every time, a speck of light would appear. Faint at first, it became a blaze that would consume me, calling me back out of the abyss and into the world above. I told myself that I wanted the abyss. Craved it. But I was the one who always reached for the light.

    It appears again. A single pinprick of light in the endless dark. It's joined by others. Lights that I've reached out to in the past, only to be betrayed. Deep below, the water begins to bleed. A glowing red that once again threatens to consume my being. I don't fight this time, sinking ever deeper into the unknown. The pressure that I usually feel isn't there anymore. Less like the bottom of the ocean, this is the weightlessness of the night sky.

    The bleeding stops, red receding back into the dark. 

    This is it then, I conclude. The tiny specs of light begin to fade as darkness settles in. I can finally rest. Let go of everything that weighed me down and be free. An uneasiness tickles at the back of my mind. Small, but impossible to ignore. Like a gentle whisper at night when you thought you were alone. The same one I've fought to ignore most of my life. One intrinsic to my very being. Existential. I do my best to ignore it, but it's getting louder.

    "Legatus," a voice calls out drowning out the whispers. One I haven't heard so clearly in years. Passionate and cool like the blue light that accompanies it. Only a splash of blue, but it holds against the dark, the contrast so vivid that I can't tear my eyes away. Dawn breaking before the sun has risen. Music, that's what comes along with it. Music that I had thought silenced, ringing out in the abyss.

    "Legatus!" Another voice yells, powerful, yet relaxing. The yellow light is so intense it should burn, but instead when it bathes me I feel secure in its embrace. The sun itself in all it's glory. Laughter. When I hear the voice, I recall all the times we made eachother laugh with the most inane comments. It always felt like an accomplishment on par with any other.

    "Legatus," this voice is less demanding. It announces its presence rather than demanding my attention. Orange. The colour of the setting sun. Pure joy surrounds me along with the memories that come with it. Every time he pushed forward just a little longer and showed me what true strength looked like. It made me feel like I could accomplish anything, like he could.

    "Legatus," a voice whispers from the dark. Haunting, yet soothing, it's like the voice was always there, just waiting to be heard. Purple spreads between the other colours. Rather than dye them, it surrounds them, flirting between each one and allowing their lights to illuminate it. The calming twilight that comes before the night. Comfortable. Thats the only way to describe the feeling that consumes me. Fleeting meetings in the night. Conversations no one else could hear. The only time I understood the term unconditional love.

    "Not yet."

    A voice calls out from the abyss. One I fear. A gentle voice filled with kindness that makes me tremble.

    "Not yet, Legatus." The voice of the archivist. My voice. "You can get through this. You always do." The voice may be gentle, but it still commands me. Much as I loathe hearing it, I'd hate it even more if I didn't rise to its challenge.

    Red light floods my vision, and in it I watch my life play out in front of me. All the murder, violence, and bloodshed, bathed in the crimson I spilled out of others. Canis, Gelu, Ovidia. Those that I had to keep away, lest the red stain them. Not that keeping them away mattered in the end. The red pulses and shimmers before calming into a gentle shade.

    The last moments of the sun before it dips beneath the horizon. A dimming star that refuses to collapse under its own weight. Among the blue of sunrise, yellow of day, orange of sunset, and purple of twilight, the red appeared at home. It found harmony and balance that it couldn't among black and grey.

    "Not yet," I echo back, "but soon." In this space between life and death, I don't even know if I'm speaking aloud, if I'm projecting my thoughts through the neural network or just thinking my final thoughts to myself.

    "Come in, do you read me? This is Fulgur Ovid, legatus of division 505 of The Republic."

     In the darkness I go on, telling my story the way that only I can. Embellished with half truths and total exaggerations. Switching perspectives and tenses as it suits. Rushing through years, while devoting pages to single moments.

    From the void I paint a picture of my existence, red black and grey, then find all the other colours bring it to life in a way that I hadn't seen taking shape. It's only now, looking and the end result that I realize how much more colour there had been taking root and grounding me.

    I no longer feel my body, but I realize that a smile has crossed my lips. I always knew that when I died, I would go with a smile on my face. I always thought it would be a smile projected outwardly, used against others like a weapon. Instead, I feel the smile sink down into my very core where the abyss has filled with light.

    As I finish telling my story I feel the light begin to dwindle. Soon I feel nothing at all.

    "Is anybody... there? Did you... read me?"

    In my last moment, a truth comes that had been shrouded in the dark.

    I wasn't signing off, happy for it all to end. I also wasn't begging to be saved, scared of the unknown. I was telling my story, but wishing it wouldn't be the end. Hoping that there would be more to tell someday. More adventures with the people that made my life worth living.

    The story was filled with regrets, but it was my story and I was confident to call it as such, taking accountability for all my own actions throughout it. I didn't want to erase any of it, or rewrite a past chapter. I just wished I could have written more.

    As the dark took hold, one thought lingered in my mind. I was happy just to wish that there could have been a next time with all those who brought colour into my world. I'd say it was more than I deserved, but they wouldn't have liked to hear that. Instead I'll simply say this: I hope I can catch you all next time, and never let go.

    The end.

Art by Kokihi: https://x.com/murmur_pi/status/1917168685476979009