Tears in the Rain

 Tears in the Rain


  Second entry. What a day for it. Mouth gagged. Hands bound. Seeing and hearing all with no action to take. Zugzwang. The strongest cyborg... what a fucking joke.


  I had to cut me and the professor's chat short. Too many things were almost said that couldn't be taken back. It's not that he would hold it against me. How could he? Rather, I've begun to see that often the mistakes we make weigh on us more than anyone else. How long has it been since I thought like this? The bunker? The slaughter? perhaps even before conscription. Weakness that was carved out of me. Never out of him though. How did he keep going for so long, so soft and vulnerable?


  The house has fallen silent, leaving a deafening echo in it's wake. Each of us deal with things in our own way I guess. They've found comfort in one-another and for that I'm glad. The thief is being extra mischievous, giving the cop plenty of ways to distract himself and the psychic is acting as defense and prosecution as needed. Why not? He can see exactly how to balance the scales and keep the game of cat and puppy going on as long as it has to. 


  Our last day together had tasted so sweet, yet now sours into bitterest vinegar. He would've known. Kept me distracted and entertained. Like a child. A child that can't move. Now he knows what my next step will be if I ever take one. Will I tell him I'd never actually left and just went up to the roof? If so then he knows that I'm listening intently through the hollow spaces as I decide which hill it is I want to die on.


  Seeing the clock count down in real time is such a surreal experience. Precious memories that could have been are lost now to the ceaseless flight of time's arrow. Should I tell them all the truth? Is it better to be lied to until the end or to see it all coming? If I continue to do nothing, certain doom awaits. Doing something brings its own personal apocalypse. 


Zugzwang. ...It's raining.


Fulgur Ovid signing off.


Art by KOOS based on Ridley Scott's Blade Runner: https://twitter.com/K00S_


Comments

  1. MachaMarch 18, 2022 at 2:22 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  2. MachaMarch 18, 2022 at 3:42 PM

    Man. Can totally feel the mood and atmosphere.Things left unsaid, having no choice but to move forward into a disadvantage. Dark but relatable themes and very well written.

    ReplyDelete
  3. NaynMarch 18, 2022 at 4:07 PM

    Got chills reading this, if only was a way to defy this fate that's been dealt... But still, onwards we must go even if it leads to ruin.


    (ps: Coincidentally, there is a track named 雨の中の涙/Tears in the Rain from XIV. I have been listening to it while reading this and ;m;)

    ReplyDelete
  4. ChevaliarMarch 18, 2022 at 4:07 PM

    What a sad and romantic story. I love it when the word ends at 'raining' and left tears unsiad, and I also love it when the actual line ends with 'time to die'. All these sadness are gently holding back just like an echo in slience and tears in rain.

    ReplyDelete
  5. OrchidMarch 18, 2022 at 5:36 PM

    So Angst, very good. The mood are mixed very well especially in the last part of 'It's Raining' and 'Our last day together was so sweet, but now sour is the bitterest vinegar.'
    It's So Poetic and So Sad thank you for making this amazing Story

    ReplyDelete
  6. KusunaMarch 18, 2022 at 8:51 PM

    So here's me keeping wondering why he can still have a chat with the Professor.
    It feels like we're going to lose Fulgur in anytime...

    ReplyDelete
  7. blixenMarch 19, 2022 at 7:37 AM

    Writer fulgur POGGGGGGGG

    ReplyDelete
  8. FlyingpigMarch 19, 2022 at 10:32 AM

    From https://twitter.com/Fulgur_Ovid/status/1504923890727985153:
    > A picture paints a thousand words.

    Check the filenames/titles of the blogpost images up to (and including) this blogpost. There are messages to be decoded there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ChevaliarMarch 20, 2022 at 3:18 AM

      Just right click and save the picture you'll get it.

      Delete
    2. FlyingpigMarch 20, 2022 at 5:31 AM

      "Open Image in New Tab" works as well.

      Delete
    3. FlyingpigMarch 24, 2022 at 1:34 AM

      This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    4. FlyingpigMarch 24, 2022 at 1:41 AM

      There's also a Blogger-uploaded video in Chapter 2 that may have been saved with a particular filename on Fulgur's computer. However, it seems that filenames for videos aren't as accessible (or retained) compared to those for blogpost images.

      https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=TOKEN (which you can find by inspecting Chapter 2's HTML) is an untitled page and opening the video on that page in a new tab (with "Open Video in New Tab") results in another page titled "videoplayback". Note that "TOKEN" is a placeholder for the actual token.

      Delete
  9. NachoMarch 19, 2022 at 5:58 PM

    that was absolutely stunning to read, real excited to read more in the future

    ReplyDelete
  10. CoirMarch 21, 2022 at 3:53 PM

    I love this so much. I really love the introspection and the thought process, gives me a better idea of who he is as a character and how the world is painted in his color. Also, the binary I see I see. I really love when there’s a lot of room for theories and decoding and decrypting. Got us working overtime, I was looking in the source code too just in case LOL I know I’m a little late to read but loved this update.

    ReplyDelete
  11. hstApril 5, 2022 at 3:32 PM

    Despite the fact that the tag said it was "uninteresting," this piqued my interest so much. Particularly after the Legatus' Twitter takeover the other day. Why does Fulgur continue to communicate with the professor? Why is he still thinking about the slaughter, despite the fact that Fulgur is only an achavist and not the super-soldier Legatus? Who did you deceive? Is it us, Fulgur XD?

    Anyway, this is a fantastic and well-written piece. I eagerly await your next diary entry :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. bonnie_03.02April 16, 2022 at 2:39 AM

    Yeah, How did he keep going for so long, so soft and vulnerable? Maybe sometimes we wall ignore that soft and vulnerable can protect a person better.
    I don't know why I feel a little sad after reading this. Or maybe it's not just sad . I still can't explain what kind of mood this is, it's a bit too complicated for me. Maybe it's the feeling that we might lose our fulgur at any time, or maybe it's the feeling of empathizing with this Zugzwang situation.
    Anyway, this article that ends with rain and the clock countdown really strikes me.

    ReplyDelete
  13. LuraMay 24, 2022 at 6:38 PM

    Thank you. Lately, I have been trying to revive my love for reading long lost to hyperactivity and fast content. I had to start over the first chapter for days, over and over, once I was able to focus I have been hooked. I am still struggling sometimes but my braincell and I are genuinely enjoying this and it makes me want to draw story-oriented illustrations which I have been scared of hahaha. Looking forward to reading through all of them. why am i tearing up bro this is I didn't want to type this ahhhhhh joder

    ReplyDelete
  14. SleeplessJune 8, 2022 at 11:01 AM

    dear legatus? i enjoyed this piece very much and hope to see more either way i have a stream to catch bye

    ReplyDelete
  15. mori_sternSeptember 17, 2022 at 10:27 AM

    Ohh now I get it the entries in between chapters are like logs in the current timeline. sometimes things confuses like what is being mentioned here, but the more I read the more I understand. Makes me anticipate more what I'll see in the next chapters.

    Oh damnn, the last paragraph hits hard right in the kokoro. Humans have a short lifespan so I think I would not reach the year of the apocalypse, or is it soonn? damnn

    ReplyDelete

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