Chapter 8: The Corpse of Flesh
Chapter 8: The Corpse of Flesh
(Content Warnings: Graphic gore, child bullying, sexual themes.)
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. As a child, I discovered very quickly that God could be fickle, negligent and outright cruel.
A rare combination of genes made me a miracle baby. That miracle made my very existence feel like a curse. At that point it wasn't mother or any god that took pity on me. Both completed their job of unleashing me upon The Republic and took their leave without a second thought.
Perhaps those that created me could see, even back then, that I wasn't a creature that deserved life at all. Had they put me out of my misery early, perhaps this curse would have never been allowed to afflict so many. Never stolen that same gift of life from so many other more deserving recipients.
Later in life I was recreated by the hands of a new maker. Not a mother, nor a god, but a man who longed for nothing more than to defy God and all his best-laid plans. One could say that he achieved that dream, though not to the end that he wanted. No, as I said, dear listener, I learned early that God can be fickle negligent and outright cruel. Add to that, omnipotence, omnipresence, and a vengeful streak that can only match his creation, and you have the perfect set up for biblical tragedy.
Don't worry, dear listener, I haven't suddenly become religious, and nor will I continue any of these blasphemous thoughts. There is one thing that I believe beyond all shadow of a doubt however. If I ever do manage to meet my maker, I'll be sure to make my existence as much his problem as he made it everyone else's.
"Fuuchan! Thank God you're here!"
Here was one of the few beings that didn't realize there is nothing to be thankful for when it comes to my existence, let alone arrival. Gelu Canis could barely stand, but she still tried to prop herself up, falling back down into the filth from which she had been sleeping in. Sleeping was of course just a choice for her. Simulated sleep to keep her mind sane and replicate the human condition. I'd always been taught that. Even their very creator had reminded me that I'mprints were nothing more than machines that simulated life. It didn't change his love for his creations, least of all the one that dragged herself forward through discarded needles, food wrappers and other excrement.
"Thank God you're here?" I hadn't ever heard Gelu mention any kind of faith before. The phrase should have set me on edge, should have made me realize just how dire her situation was, but I had never learned either of the lessons my two fathers had tried to teach me. Not the importance of religion to some people, nor the concept of loving something artificial.
There I go lying again. Shielding myself even though you've already discovered the truth, Canis.
No, if I'm going to tell this chapter, I have to do it right. My father always told me that God would forgive anything if someone truly wanted to repent.
What I ask for isn't forgiveness. I have none for myself as is. All I ask is that you listen to my story, and accept that it is truly the greatest regret I have in my life.
Let's start from the beginning.
"Fulgur! Thank goodness you're here!"
My first meeting with Gelu Canis was a loud one. Not the usual loud with her, which involved her squealing, chatting up a storm, and being an all around boisterous existence, but rather it was loud because I ended up screaming as soon as I laid eyes on her.
The terminator paused, crashing to a stop although it had been charging right for me. My father came between the two of us, holding his arms out as if he could shield me from anything that came his way. The terminator took a step backwards, one arm reaching up to rest on the back of its head as it turned away.
Meanwhile my future creator just laughed at the situation, releasing my wheel chair and meeting Gelu with a warm hug.
"Neither of them have IIs, Gelu." Gelu let out a huge "ohhhhhhh" sound and sidled behind Canis, sheepishly.
"I'm so sorry for scaring you Fulgur! And you, Ovid, please pardon my intrusion." Gelu tried to back out of the room, using Canis as a shield as she went, but the man caught her arm and pulled her back into a hug, giving her a light smack on the midsection.
"Ovid, Fulgur, this is my wife, Gelu Canis."
My father softened his stance immediately, offering apologies as he stepped forward to shake her hand. I stared on in pure horror, watching the machine grab at my fathers' fist. Once she let go of my father's hand, Gelu looked over at me, spherical IIs rotating with a quiet hum sound as they locked on.
I instinctively pulled back on the joystick, making my wheelchair roll back towards the door. Outside of the duoverse, Gelu Canis had a look that could best be described as Terminator-adjacent.
Her body was a steel frame, with all the important components protected behind plastic casings. Unlike modern androids which attempted to mimic humanity as closely as possible, her design was built for practicality. All emphasis placed on incredibly precise hands for her research, and with sensors all over the frame to feel as human and comfortable as possible to the I'mprint within, rather than worry about what others saw or felt when they looked at or touched her. The legs that carried her were simple metal tubes, with artificial joints on full display. Her head was the most terrifying part of all: wires and casings housing a large outdated storage device, an artificial mouth, and two uncustomized grey IIs that bulged out of everything else.
The machine pulled back, wrapping it's arms around Professor Canis as though it was about to crush him. He simply laughed, bringing a hand up to the top of its head and ruffling hair that was nowhere to be seen.
Canis himself walked away, the machine following along with loud clunking steps as it tried to cower behind him. In moments he returned alone with two pairs of glasses that he handed to father and child alike.
"Let's try this again shall we. Pop those glasses on, kid, Ovid."
The tiny me did as he was instructed without needing to be asked twice, though he struggled just raising his hands high enough to rest the glasses on his ears.
"And once again, I'd like to introduce you to my wife, Gelu Canis."
The clunking of her metal feet and whirring of different parts of her frame betrayed the illusion, but with the glasses on, I saw Gelu Canis as she might have appeared in life. She took each step slowly, scared to approach me too fast as she did an awkward wave and joined her husband, once more wrapping around him for comfort.
"Nice to meet you, Ovid, Fulgur. I'm Gelu, but you can call me Gelly if you like. I'm a neurosurgeon, neurologist and clinical psychologist." She ignored my father's compliments and pleasantries, instead taking a few steps forward and kneeling at my level before she continued in a much softer tone. "I'm also an obsessed gamer, lover of all things animated, and not a bad basketball player." She finished with a wink and extended her hand just in front of her for a handshake. "Thank goodness you're here, Fuuchan. I think we're both going to be of great help to one another."
I took Gelu's hand, feeling it wrap around my tiny palm and part of my wrist. The cold metal made me pull back in surprise, but Gelu just smiled at it that time, keeping any pain from crossing onto her duoverse face.
Her words didn't make sense to me back then. She and the professor were the ones saving me. As far as I knew they were getting nothing out of it. Your words the other day filled in the meaning.
How many times had you woken Gelu only for her to force you to put her back to sleep? How many breakthroughs had you found and tried to convince her to come back to life at your side? How did you go on for so long with only a single goal in mind?
At some point I worked out that Gelu never wanted to be the first ever I'mprint. Like me, her life was a curse that was forced on her by her creator. Unlike me, she never made that anyone else's problem, only choosing to live when she had a chance to give the gift of life to someone else.
Not just me, Canis. She thought that the both of us would be able to give you another chance at life too. I realize that now. As much as you were trying to save her life, she was trying to save your soul. Had it been another child you two gave life to, perhaps it might have actually worked.
As I said, the miracle that made me a perfect candidate for your devices was actually a curse. You'd figure that out in time. Long after I already had.
"At ease, Ovid." Praetor Chroma barely saluted me as I entered the room before turning back to whoever she was on a call with. I leaned against the wall of her office, arms crossed over my chest as I stared out the window.
All the days were blending together, all the legatio, all the death. In just a few weeks I'd left the safety of The Republic, last bastion of human civilization, twice. And like each of those times I'd been called in for another top priority legatio. I liked dangerous missions then. Each one brought my curse closer to ending, and staved off the dark thoughts that prowled in quiet moments. The machine was well oiled and built for exactly this. What remained of the humanity on the other hand was tired and desperate for an end.
Just that morning I'd been drawn out of my stupor from a hospital bed. Operation Starfall, which had come barely a week after my visit to the Apoloshits. Both had resulted in lost memories and faded time. In reality it had been days since I last saw Ovidia, but the taste of the pies I'd had to skip out on were still fresh in my memory as if it was hours. Noticing Chroma had finished her call, I awkwardly saluted again, covering up my mistake with a quick return to myself.
"Chroma, would you like to debrief about Starfall? The target said something that-"
"Ovid, I'm going to have to ask you to take a seat."
My eyes narrowed and I thought about arguing. All of my usual disobedient snark fled me as I noticed the look that weighed down Chroma's features. I'd seen her feign concern many times in the past, seen her kiss ass, and deliver any number of platitudes and condolences. What I'd never seen was such an evident blend of sorrow and terror.
I took the seat in front of her desk without another word, simply waiting for her to give me my mission. The obedience took her back for a moment, but she simply continued, choosing not to tarnish the rare moment of respect.
"Ovid, I need you to listen to me fully before you say a single thing. What I'm about to say will shock you, and believe me, if I had anyone else to call on for this legatio, I wouldn't place this on you." She was silent for a moment, studying my features while I waited for her to continue, ever the loyal wolf, hungry for another hunt.
"I need you to agree to that, Ovid. Don't consider it an order, I'm asking you for the sake of everything we've been through together to listen to me."
I'd broken enough of Chroma's direct orders in the past that she knew the word didn't mean much to me. Appeals to my emotions rarely worked better, but from a woman who I had never seen make a heartfelt request before, I silently nodded. When she stared back at me for several moments more, I finally relented.
"I'm listening, Praetor."
"Okay. ...Ovid, Canis is dead."
I'm not ashamed to admit that I dissociated when those words came out of Chroma's mouth. I was suddenly a teenager again and you were telling me of the death of my first father. Back then I had run through several stages of grief: denying, bargaining, crying, and finally plotting revenge alone in my room as if any of it made any difference.
On the cusp of my 30th birthday, there was only one thought that filled my mind when Chroma was able to bring me back to reality. I don't know how much she had said in my absence, or how many times she had called my name before finally walking around the table and slapping me back into my body, but I do remember the first question that came out of my mouth when she did.
"Where is Gelu?" The sting from the slap still ached, but all other thoughts were put out of my mind in that moment. I wish that I could tell you it was because I was worried about her above all else. I really do. There was definitely concern there. A worry that she might be decommissioned, a panic that the legati sent to recover your body would be rough with her, but the strongest thought that led me to seek out Gelu was one of simplicity: I needed her.
Your wife. The closest thing I've ever had to a mother figure. Coming from Chroma, the information meant nothing. It was only Gelu I could trust when it came to such personal matters. Fucked up as I'd made it for all of us, we were a family. Much as I tried to push her away and show that I didn't care, Gelu had never let either of us fully separate those ties and just become creator and weapon.
I need you to know that, Canis. If I'd heard of your passing from her -from Gelu, I likely would have wept in her arms as I did for my first father. Hearing it from Chroma just didn't feel real and I knew that I needed to hear it from Gelu to believe it.
"That's the thing, Ovid..." A pause and little gasp of breath came from Chroma. She'd never seemed so fragile before. Most of the time she barely seemed human, unless it was over the neural network where she could more easily relax without the eyes and ears of the arbiters watching her every waking moment. "Something seems to have malfunctioned in Gelu."
I was on my feet, the chair I once sat in toppled backwards from the sudden movement. My heart, one of the few human parts left of me, raced, beating so hard it might have ripped out of my chest. I was imagining every horrible scenario I could think of that would lead to me losing both of you in one day. Before I found a way to form any of my frantic worries into actual questions Chroma continued.
"Gelu... well I don't know if we should call her that anymore. Something must have been corrupted, or some wires must have been crossed. She-" Another deep breath from Chroma as she took a step back around the desk and sat down. "Gelu made an I'mprint of Canis, something we both know he never wanted. Then she smothered him in his sleep."
I have no idea how I looked to Chroma in that instant, but I'd never seen her visibly recoil from anyone the way she did when I faced her, searching for sincerity in her eyes.
At the time I hadn't noticed, but now I think she might have also grabbed at a gun on the underside of her desk. It's hard to know if those memories are true, stained by the passing of time and information I now have. All I can say is that she was terrified of me, never having come so close to losing control of the beast she had trained so well.
A moment passed in which neither one of us was sure of our next move, but I finally noticed the fear in her eyes and attributed it simply to the whole fucked up scenario we were dealing with. Believing it to be more proof of her words, or if nothing else, that she believed them, I calmed myself enough to respond.
"Gelu would sooner shut herself down," I argued, emotion momentarily overcoming all the lessons I'd been taught about I'mprints.
They were just technology. Of course errors happen and glitches occur. Even if she had been flesh and blood, I'd dealt with more than enough monsters of the flesh that loved ones swore would never do the horrific crimes they'd committed. Yet there I was, arguing Gelu's nature as evidence.
A virtual screen appeared in my IIs, which began playing a first person recording of a car chase. The recording separated me and Chroma allowing both of us to relax.
"They originally tried to pull her over when they discovered a car was being driven manually with no life inside. She began speeding and resisted arrest. If you don't want to see the next par-"
"Keep it playing," I say, icy coolness creeping back into my voice. I still remember the name of the auxilia member that was recorded on the file. At that point I was burning it into my mind, thinking about paying him a visit if he had hurt Gelu in any way during the footage. What I should have been focusing on was why an Auxilia member was sent after a simple I'mprint joyride.
The footage continued. I watched in silence as the auxilia member rammed into the rear of Gelu's car, sending it forward and causing the vehicle to swerve and crash into a wall. My fists tightened, and that name became a permanent fixture in my subconscious for the future.
A moment later I saw Gelu, duoverse form looking as perfect as ever as she stumbled out of the car, and desperately dragged the body of Canis... your body out of the passenger seat. A small gasp was all the sound I let out before crossing my arms over my chest and swallowing down anything more.
The auxilia member I was watching through the IIs of in first person and one more which burst out of the other side of the same car trained their rifles on Gelu. Once she had Canis out of the car, she turned to face the inky humanoid figures with her hands raised high above her head, pleading silently with her mouth screaming, wordlessly.
"Why is it muted?" I asked, desperate to hear what Gelu was saying.
Chroma's voice responded simply from behind the screen, "data got corrupted. You'll see why in a second. We got a transcript through lip reading, but I'll give you that after the video."
Gelu was looking between the two figures and pleading with them before turning back around and trying to lift Canis' dead body. She'd barely gotten it a foot away from car when the auxilia members began firing, catching her in the back, thigh, and arm, and causing her to fall forwards. Her right arm was severed clean at the shoulder, and her left leg had a hole the size of a tennis ball opened up in it, blood spurting onto the ground.
The duoverse form of Gelu disappeared, replaced with the metal frame I'd become accustomed to as a child. Gelu dragged herself backwards as the men approached her, guns now lowered as they assumed their mission was complete. She twisted to face them, lifting her one good hand in a form of submission as she scrambled back.
As soon as they were close enough, she reached forward, grabbing the first auxilia member by the ankle and ripping his leg out from under him. Before the other, whose IIs we were looking through could raise his gun, the view of the scene spun and shook as she whipped the other man's body against him. The last thing the footage showed was one of Gelu's round grey IIs as blood sprayed over everything and the signal went dead.
"She ripped out the one man's throat with her teeth and then took the other's head off with her bare hands while he was still unconscious."
Makes sense that you would give her a body almost as deadly as mine while she slept. It couldn't hold up to auxilia rifles, but no average criminal was going to have a chance of taking her away from you again.
"We recovered Canis' body a quarter mile from the scene, and confirmed he'd been smothered by her. His remains are currently-"
"How long ago was this, and what was she saying!?" I ignored any mention of your body, wanting to know more about what had happened to Gelu and why they had called me in. Clearly she was still on the run since they'd decided I was needed for the mission. If she was on the run then there was a chance I could still find her first.
The video disappeared, leaving me and Chroma staring across from one another again. With her sitting and me standing, she looked smaller than I'd ever remembered her. As small as I had probably looked when she first discovered your little project after the slaughter in the slums. She took a moment, crossing her legs and steeling herself before she met my gaze.
"Gelu accused the legion of killing Canis. Then she accused the arbiters of killing him. Finally she said that you were going to kill him. She apparently said something about Ovidia too, but much of that was just words without structure."
Before I could ask anything more, Chroma slid a piece of paper across the table with much the same listed on it. Gelu's actual words were a lot more broken from panic and with stutters and rambling thrown in, but that was the gist of it.
None of it sounded like Gelu. More a stream of consciousness from her memories. Chroma replayed the video, letting me match mouth movements to words to confirm it's truth as best I could.
"She's killed 6 more legionnaires and 2 legati since this incident, and fled to the slums where we can't track her. Bystanders who have spotted her report she's been screaming incoherently about you and Canis. I have one more recording to show you, but you might not want to see it."
"Show me," I cut Chroma off again. I was no longer angry or snapping. All emotion had left my voice by that point.
Another video played in Chroma's office, this time with sound to accompany it.
"Fuuchan, you found me!" Gelu limped forward, struggling to walk with one leg that she had to drag into place with each step like a cane. "Your netjack!" Gelu reached down to the person whose IIs I was watching through's waist, ripping a netjack away from them.
"Gelu, please, you have to tell me where the I'mprint is." My own voice came out of the recording.
In an instant the desk which separated me and Chroma was thrown to the side, smashing into the windows as I grabbed Chroma by the collar and lifted her against the wall.
Chroma struggled, clawing at my carbon fiber wrists and kicking against my metal thighs as I lifted her higher off the ground. The struggle she put up only made me more furious. My fists pressed tight against her throat as my mind went blank, clouded over by the betrayal of my own voice interrogating Gelu.
"We thought if we used your duotar she would let her guard down! Ovid!?"
The sounds of metal clunking on the carpet flooded the room as many soldiers surged into the office from both entrances. I hadn't even known that Chroma had a hidden door behind the bookcase, or where it went to, but now there were half a dozen cyborg guards surrounding us in a semicircle.
"Stand down!" She commanded, struggling to raise her voice while being lifted by her collar. "Stand! The fuck! Down!" One hand let go of my wrist and shooed away the guards, Chroma being choked all the more for it. The guards loudly stepped backwards, making a show of following the praetor's orders before she looked down into my eyes again and pleaded, "Ovid, stand down."
A growl escaped my throat as I lowered Chroma back to the ground and stepped back. Smoothing out her dress, Chroma flinched at the part of the fabric that had torn at her waist before standing tall once more and calling out to the room, "leave us."
The guards washed out of the room as fast as they had rolled in, and I finally turned to catch the last of them disappearing, as the book case slid back into place over an opening in the wall. I looked to the opposite side of the room, finding Chroma's desk half way through the thick shutter which protected her from the sun during the day. The glass on the inside had all shattered, showering the office in jagged shards she would have trouble avoiding.
"I'm... I'm sorry."
"Don't be. You passed the test. I had to assess you'd still be in control, despite the circumstances." I glared at her again, but found her smiling smugly in my direction. "She did let her guard down, Ovid, but only for a moment. I'm going to need you to not let that moment pass when I send you in."
The video appeared again in my vision, and resumed playing as though all of this had been calculated by Chroma from the start. In truth, she and the arbiters likely had this exact conversation planned for weeks if not months. Playing it out time and time again in simulations along with back-up plans and safeguards. I was simple enough to read back then, much as I'd have denied it.
"Gelu, please, you have to tell me where the I'mprint is." My own voice came out of the video once more as Gelu pulled back away from the man wearing my duotar and brought a netjack with her. "What are you doing with that!? Gelu, don't do anything you're going to regret!"
Gelu ignored the fake Fulgur's voice and brought the netjack to her own chest, waiting for a moment.
"What... this isn't... no." Gelu looked me straight in the eyes. I looked back at her through the recording.
In her grey, artificial IIs I could see my own body reflected. I watched in silence as Gelu swiped the netjack through the air, with so much force one of the legatus' IIs popped out of his skull.
The only sound on the rest of the recording was the gurgling of the legatus, struggling to breathe as the video captured an ever rotating world while his II rolled around the floor in his blood. The duotar never faded, leaving me to listen to my own death rattle as I drowned in blood.
"Why would she...?" My thoughts trailed off as the video disappeared from view and I was left with Chroma looking at me, smug smile replaced by a commanding gaze.
"You're only going to have a moment to end her, Ovid. Confirm the location of Canis' I'mprint, shut Gelu down by any means necessary, and recover Canis' I'mprint."
At the time, I had many thoughts running through my mind. Why would she want the netjack? Why would she kill Canis? Why would she kill what she thought was me?
"Ovid!" My name, bequeathed to me by my father, woke me up. "Once you have Canis' I'mprint, you need to bring it directly to the Arbiter's senate. His mind is far too precious, and even more dangerous to risk falling into anyone else's hands."
I stood in silence for a moment, for once not falling in line to begin a hunt despite the lagatio being given and my prey chosen for me.
I stared down at the bright red metal of my hands. Hands gifted to me by you, and taught to use by her.
"Once we have Canis in custody we can get him into an android body, and he can recover Gelu's data from his computer." My IIs shot up to meet Chroma's. With everything that had gone on that morning, I'd not even thought of that possibility.
My hands balled tight into fists, and my vision focused on the present. I had a mission, and for the first time since the slaughter it was one that I needed to complete for myself.
"Are you sure you can do this, Ovid?"
My only response was a silent nod. Of course I can do this, I thought. I'm Fulgur Ovid. Legatus of division 505. I was literally built for this.
I'd forgotten that somehow. Forgotten that I was just a weapon. Forgotten that Gelu was just an I'mprint that could be copied. Now so was Canis, but I could bring them both back home.
I turned, and tried to leave, but Chroma called me back. When I span around there was a pistol held in her outstretched hand. I grinned, back to my old self as fast as I'd become lost. It was so easy back then. Shutting everything else out and focusing on a mission. It's become so much more difficult now. Regardless, I waved off the offer and pulled open the door to the office, leaving with a single phrase.
"I won't need it, she's just a surgical android."
It's funny, the things that can stick in your mind. Forgive me for getting off track again, but I remember the first time I'd heard someone else say something similar about Gelu. They used much more coarse language, of course. Children are often seen as innocents, but that doesn't change how cruel they can be in their simplicity.
"So, is it true, crick?" It's unsurprising perhaps at this point, to tell you that I wasn't any more popular during my school days than I have been at any time in my life. At 11 years old I was already used to the other kids bullying me. You sent me to the most elite academy you could, while also having yourself and Gelu tutor me in the evenings. I'd missed a lot of formal education due to my disability, and had to play catch up, but between the ages of 8 and 11 I was about as normal as I'd ever been.
Most of the other kids had IIs and throa2s, fancy duotars, and all the expensive toys that they wanted, while I had 4 cybernetic limbs that prohibited me from joining in on sports, as well as maintenance schedules that took me out of class for weeks at a time.
I was different. No matter what age you grow to, that never stops being a threat to the group at large who are able to consider themselves "normal."
As children there's simply less pretense to the whole affair. You're different, therefore you don't have the same simple right to live as everyone else. The kids needed someone to take out their frustrations on. If it hadn't been me, it would have been the girl whose mother only managed to get her into such an expensive school through adult entertainment, or the boy whose family came from The Commune that didn't understand the slang or customs, it could have just as easily been the rowdy boy who knocked my book off the table and started yelling directly in my face if he had made some slight mistake that the group latched onto and made his whole identity.
I was the easiest target though. At age 11 I was surrounded by 14 and 15 year olds. You'd entered me into the academy at age 8, but in those 3 and a half years, you'd made sure that every time I started to catch up in a grade I was skipped ahead another year, and mixed into another group older than me.
People don't like being told that someone else is better than them. In truth, I wasn't any smarter than any of the kids there anyway. I didn't question why I was so good at tests back then. It wasn't exactly cheating, but it isn't hard to look back now and realize just how often you and Gelu's tuition seemed to perfectly prepare me for each test before it came. Sometime during conscription, when I realized just how much The Republic bent over backwards to serve you, I realized that I wasn't ever actually that gifted. You were just using your connections to figure out the curriculum and keep me one step ahead of the tests as they came.
It worked for all of us. Our deal was that you were my patron until I finished conscription, so anything that got me there faster was a win for me. My father obviously wanted me back home and hence was elated to see how fast things were moving. You needed to prove to The Republic just how incredible your pet project was to get to the next stage of your plans. Gelu... she turned a blind eye to as many of your flaws as she could.
I'm sure in her mind, once I'd finished the academy and then conscription, then she could work on giving me a real life. It didn't stop her from deviating from the lesson plans often and making them as fun for me as she could.
That's aside the point. This may well be the last time you'll listen to anything I say, or read anything I write. I guess I'm just adding a lot of the things I haven't had a chance to talk to you about yet. Those days in the academy, as I said, were the most normal I'd ever felt. In the moment, I thought it was to be the hardest challenge of my life that prepared me for truly living. Looking back, I wonder how different things might have been if we hadn't been rushing forward all the time, aiming for a future that as it turned out was never going to come to pass.
I don't blame you, Canis. I understand fully what your motivations were, and why there was a ticking clock involved. I was just a tool for your actual goal, after all.
Anyway, at age 11 it was well known that I was a freak who kept to himself and didn't tell the teacher no matter what level of harassment was inflicted on me.
It had started as rumors, escalated to name calling and occasional physical torment, took a brief sidetrack into ostracizing which I assume wasn't nearly an active enough form of bullying because it was brief, and finally culminated in daily abuse.
On this particular day, however, the class had just learned a fun new term and were eager to use it on their favourite play thing. It was long after class, but I always stayed late, catching up on reading while the other children attended clubs until school properly closed.
"C'mon, crick, you gotta tell us if it's true. I wanna have a go if it is!" The other boys all laughed, while I simply recovered my book and returned it to my bag, thinking only that I didn't want it to be damaged in whatever scheme they were planning.
"Hey now, Ben, I wouldn't if I were you. His mommy is probably full of even more diseases than he is!" Another one of the boys mocked, nudging Ben, or Benignus as his actual name ironically was, as I tried to walk away. Ben shoved me as I left, causing me to crash into the cupboards as I made my way out of the classroom.
"Crick! Just let us know what it feels like? There's no way you have a doll for your mommy and haven't fucked her."
A small "tch" sound was all that escaped my lips as I continued to make my way down the hallway and into the elevator that would take me to the parking floor, but my schoolmates weren't satisfied with their game just yet.
If they were trying to finally get a reaction out of me beyond the blood and tears they had in the past, this was hardly the route to go. They could have told me my mother was dead and I wouldn't have batted an eye.
I held onto some fondness for the woman for a few years after she left. Even had dreams that she might regret her decision and return for the first few years, but all that hope had putrefied in time.
"Wait, maybe the crick doesn't even know what a doll is?" Ben laughed, slapping me hard in the back of the head. "Sorry, crick, we forget what a baby you are sometimes. You probably haven't even gotten big boy hairs yet, have ya?"
The elevator descended, each ding of a new floor that it passed, counting down to my eventual escape.
The doors finally opened after a few more slaps and insults from various boys, and I stumbled out, tripping over another foot as I went. That was where the games always came to an end. For legal reasons there were no cameras in the school sections of the building, but the parking floors were another case altogether.
"Later, crick! Let that doll of yours know that when she wants a real man, she can come see me!"
The boys all erupted in laughter and slapped Ben's hands to let him know how well he'd done at their game. They marched off triumphantly in the opposite direction from my own assigned parking space, their voices echoing as they went.
It would have all ended there, except for a cruel stroke of fate. Times like those, I used to think that I was cursed. As I got older, I started to realize that I was the curse. Not that I'm suggesting I had no agency in it. Bad luck had always lead to my life being fucked up, but I was always the one passing it on to those closest to me.
"Fuuchannnnn!" Gelu called out, waving at me from beside your car. My lips curled up into a smile that didn't reach my eyes. It had been 9 hours of straight scowling, so the action felt unnatural. In all truth, I didn't have to force it much. The combination of escaping school and seeing one of my favourite people as a surprise was enough to bring a smile to my face back then. The only part of it that was forced was the speed at which I covered up what I'd just been feeling.
"Why're you here?" I asked, speed walking over to Gelu, and giving her a quick hug. The hugs had become a habit, but noticing we were in public had drawn this one to a fast end.
"Field trip, my little padawan! Guess who got us tickets to a rocket launch!? ... o-kay, it was Iggy, but I suggested it." Gelu ruffled my hair, a few of the brown streaks being pinched and pulled loose by her metal hands, but I just laughed, smoothing out the mess as I opened the door to the car.
"Fulgur, you should have introduced us to your mommy!" I shook slightly, the car door almost ripping off its hinges as Ben and the other boys called out to me. They'd never been so brazen as to start a fight where it would be recorded.
"Oh, Fuuchan, are these your friends?" Gelu hadn't noticed the mocking tone from the boy, or the snickers at the word mommy as they approached.
"The best of friends, ma'am," another of the boys said, placing an arm around my shoulder. "We basically adopted Fuuchan when he joined our class." A few of the boys laughed again, but Gelu remained cheery, doing a short bow as she responded. I shook out of the boy's arms and got into the car, just wanting to drive away as soon as possible. The door slammed hard behind me.
"Thank you for looking after him. He's always talking about how the other kids take special care of him." I'd never spoken about other kids, positively or negatively, but I assume Gelu was trying to keep the conversation as pleasant as possible. "It was nice to meet you, kiddos, but we've got to jet. Make sure you get home safe!"
Gelu opened the drivers' side door, and was about to step in when Ben called out, fueled by a need to always show off to the other children.
"Wait, where's Fulgur's patron? We were hoping to meet him too since 'Fuuchan' never talks about his family." I cringed even harder, realizing the name Fuuchan was going to stick from then on, unaware of just how much worse our situation was.
"Oh, Ig- Canis is working right now," Gelu responded with a smile. "If you really want to meet him, you should come over to our house to play sometime. I'll have Fulgur invite you when we can."
Once again, Gelu tried to get into the car, but this time Ben grabbed her wrist. I tried to open the passenger side door, but found two of the boys were holding it closed. They were obviously communicating through the neural network to plot this out so smoothly.
"You're an I'mprint though, aren't you?" Ben asked directly. "I thought I'mprints couldn't drive without a citizen in the car?"
Even at age 11, I was more than aware of how dangerous the conversation was becoming. Gelu got away with a lot of things because of your position, but I'd seen enough videos of what humans did to I'mprints for the hell of it, even more so if they had the excuse that one was breaking the law.
I pushed open the door as hard as I could, the two boys who had tried to hold it closed falling backwards, and making the next car's alarm go off.
"Fuuchan?" Gelu had turned to see what happened on the other side of the car, and Ben froze for a second at the commotion as I rushed around the front of the car and swung a punch at the much bigger boy. I'd never hit another human before. Always been warned against it by you and Gelu. My form was terrible, and being so short compared to Ben, I was aimed at his throat even though I tried to go for the face.
A loud crash of metal exploded in the parking lot. Louder even than the car alarm or Ben screaming as he fell backwards. I hadn't fully been in control of myself at that point, so I only remember the aftermath.
Ben was dragging himself away, still on the ground, and with a puddle of his own urine trailing behind him, while the other boys had already fled much faster.
"Fuuchan!?" Gelu's voice was much more panicked now and it brought me fully back to my senses. My metal fist had been blocked by Gelu's hand, her own metal form exploding in a crash of metal and plastic. She'd managed to prevent me from becoming a murderer several years early, but in the process lost her left hand and part of her wrist.
"Gelu, are you-" the rest of my question was cut off as Gelu ushered me into the car, joining me in the drivers' seat and tearing away out of the parking lot. As we drove by, Ben was still trying to drag himself up on his feet.
Racing out of the building, the windows went dark to shield from the light, and I noticed my white school shirt was splashed with amber and cobalt fluids that leaked out of Gelu's arm as she buckled my seat belt.
"We need to get home. Now! Iggy will meet us there. Fuuchan, you can't fight the other children! You know that! I warned you so many times! If you have a problem just tell me and I'll deal with it, okay? ...Fuuchan?"
"...You're not my mother."
My voice had been quiet, barely above a whisper, but Gelu had instantly fallen silent. She let the car slow down for a moment, then set it into self-drive and turned to face the tiny me.
"Fuuchan... I'm not trying to replace your-"
"You're not even human!" I snapped at Gelu, tears welling up in my eyes as I forced my gaze down at my feet.
I had always been an obedient ward to you and Gelu before that. Never raised my voice at all, let alone snapped with so much venom. I wasn't angry at her. I hope she knew that. Of course she did. She always gave people the benefit of the doubt. I was just an upset child, lashing out because of my own fear.
I was scared for Gelu since she'd been caught driving alone. Shocked at myself and what my cynets could do even to those I cared about. More than any of that, I was confused at my own feelings towards Gelu. I never had considered her my mother before that. Even as the other boys tried to goad me by insulting my mother, I had simply shrugged it off, thinking that they meant the one who had abandoned me.
Suddenly I was faced with the problem that I did in fact love Gelu like a mother. Gelu, who legally counted as your property. Gelu, who might have not gotten home that day if things had gone slightly differently. Gelu, who I was terrified might still be taken away from us, just because I had lost my temper and thrown a punch.
That's the crux of it, Canis. For that journey home I experienced something similar to the level of fear and desperation that you'd been feeling for... well centuries for everyone else. I ran through it in my head, trying to understand why I'mprints were treated as property, when they could feel just as much as any human.
I might have learned the lesson you always wanted to teach me right there and then, if you'd helped guide me through it. Again, I'm not blaming you. The same way I was in full panic mode, I know that you were doing the same. Centuries of planning had almost been eviscerated with a single punch.
By the time I got home, you'd already packed my bag and Gelu just retreated to your room. I heard her crying faintly through the door as you explained I was starting conscription earlier than planned.
I couldn't bear to see her before I left, even though I wanted to apologize and tell her how much I really did care. That I only said such a cruel thing because I was panicking. The saddest thing is, knowing what I know now, that you thought the final lesson of conscription was supposed to be about putting citizens in the shoes of I'mprints, I can see how you also hoped that when I returned I'd have learned that lesson and be your strongest ally to change the way The Republic treats them.
Instead I felt like I was being punished. That I was a lab experiment gone wrong.
Conscription actually taught me that I'mprints were nothing more than machines. That humanity was just a selfish parasite on the planet. That you hadn't replaced enough of my weak parts for me to survive in this world.
I pushed down all those weaknesses, but never quite let them die, believing that after conscription I'd be free to do whatever I wanted. I didn't even have any kind of clue what I wanted to do after, just that I wanted to come back home to see you, Gelu, and my father.
Of course, you know how that dream ended. There's a reason I don't make it through a night's sleep anymore.
Enough about the distant past. I can only avoid my confession for so long.
So I drove, off into the night without really knowing where my hunt would take me. I followed the route that Gelu had fled, witnessing first hand some of the carnage that had been left in her wake. The site of the car crash no longer had legati patrolling it, but the marks from the accident were still easy to see.
As I drove further along in the different spots that witnesses had seen her, I tried my best to guess where she would go, but nothing about the pathing made sense.
She was heading deep into the slums, but if she wanted to get out of The Republic she would have had a much easier job in several other directions. At the final spot she was seen I got out of my car, hoping that I could find some sort of trail to follow.
She'd managed to mend her damage enough to prevent a trail forming, and was even smart enough to drag some sort of fabric behind her to hide any traceable footprints in the filth.
Where had she learned to be so thorough? Could it have been a memory from the old world? I remember her telling me something about going hunting in the snow as a child and learning to track wild game. She'd tried to play it off as a virtual experience she'd had, but she was never as good at lying as us. That was one of my first clues to your true identity.
I'd never hunted a target who knew how to hide their tracks in such an old-school way. Not sure if the same principle applies to the filth that denizens of the slums rooted around in, but it was effective enough to fool me, alongside the other predators that had her scent. No, she was also avoiding the few cameras afforded to the slums as she went. Not just the public ones, but even the privately owned. There was a chance she'd prepared such an escape plan long in advance.
Did you guide her on that? A contingency for if you ever passed away and she was left alone in The Republic on less gruesome, but no less dangerous terms? I guess it doesn't matter. Not like you plan on talking to me ever again.
So I wandered, on through the slums. A part of The Republic that no citizen ever wanted to end up in, least of all one who had crawled their way out through the filth once before. Most of this part of the city looked the same no matter where you went. Filth, grime, dilapidated towers, crumbling factories, the occasional well guarded, furnished building, where other illicit activities kept the scum afloat.
Trying to tell the different parts of the slums apart was like trying to figure out the identity of a skeleton by eye. Everything that could count as a distinguishing feature was long since eroded away. All I knew was that I was moving south east from the center of The Republic, and I was no paleontologist, let alone archeologist that could properly survey the fetid remains.
And yet... something did feel eerily familiar as I let my instincts guide me. For some unknown reason, I felt I was being pulled from alleyway to street, then street to square, and down more disgusting paths. There were no marks that showed me the way, yet the journey felt oddly right. Dashing between the remains of buildings to avoid direct sunlight. I climbed over fallen rubble, under the gaps in torn up fences, even through the abandoned remains of a department store which now had a makeshift community of tents and other simple shelters dividing up the first floor into housing.
Some of the people, if you could call them such, were bold enough to stare at me as I wandered through their homes, their clouded, bloodshot eyes not able to discern that a legatus walked among them. The ones that had IIs or at the very least healthy enough eyes to recognize the black and red leather were quick to scuttle back into a hiding spot, much like cockroaches would have during The Fall.
Normally, settlements in the slums were far more offensive to the senses. Rotting flesh, untreated waste, hazardous chemicals, and unwashed masses, all blending together to create a unique stench that couldn't be scrubbed away.
My father had reeked of it every time he made the journey to see me.
Here, the various small fires housed in large bowels, small bins, and even just open holes in the ground worked together to overpower most of that. It might have helped that the myriad of separate conversations that different groups were having all got hushed quickly as the thumps of my metal feet slamming into the earth echoed out along my path. They resumed once I had made my way far enough that it felt safe to say the cyborg wasn't coming for them.
Hushed voices, fire crackling, ragged breaths, and my own footsteps. It should have set my adrenaline spiking.
This was the perfect spot for an ambush and I was surrounded by what could have been hundreds of enemies hiding in plain sight. For whatever reason, it all felt fine. Not comfortable, that much was for certain. Even the people sleeping nearby wouldn't call this place comfortable, but I wasn't as on edge as I usually was, even in the fanciest parts of The Republic proper.
An object rolled out in front of my feet. Instantly I dove to the side, covering my fleshy parts as much as I could in anticipation of the explosion. All comfort had disappeared from my body as I tensed up, and felt my heart almost burst out of my chest for several seconds.
As I uncovered my face, two teenagers leaned down to stare at me, one of them holding the ball that I'd thought was an IED. The teens looked confused, more worried for my safety than scared for their own. Before either one could speak, a man scooped them up into his arms and dashed away to hide somewhere else, obviously scared of what I might do to a non-citizen that had caused me such trouble.
I stood back up, dusting off some of the filth that had caked itself to my clothes, but it was already a part of me. Always had been since my birth. Just like those kids, I'd been dragged through this filth once. Protected from the cruelty of Republic citizens that saw my very life as offensive.
Finally it hit me. The reason I had traveled this path specifically. Why it didn't feel quite so putrid here to me as it did any other time I visited the slums: I was home.
More than 2 decades since the last time I'd returned to meet my father where he lived, I had finally made my homecoming. My IIs swept around the building, recognizing the general layout from my earliest memories.
I think I was... eight maybe, the last time I had returned here. We'd come back to visit my father as we did once or twice a year for the first few years. Even at that point I was disgusted by the smell, having become accustomed to the sterility of the city.
While we were celebrating some old holiday that only meant presents to me, someone had broken into your car. They hadn't managed to do anything more than that, but my father blamed himself and tried to pay you back. There was no way he ever could, of course. When he heard how much the repairs were going to cost, he apologized and went silent.
You and Gelu didn't hold it against him, but he had his own form of pride despite living in squalor. From then on, he refused to let us come to the slums, making the journey to us instead even though it involved far more round trips.
So much had changed over the years, but the bones were still the same. The rusted steel support beams had new marks painted on to guide those who knew what they meant. None of them made sense to me anymore. They had to change the symbols anytime wolves started to catch on.
Over in the center of the floor was a large crater that only went down a few feet. In the distant past it may have been a fountain, a showcase, or some other decorative feature, and whatever it had been was clearly worth enough that the old owners removed, and transported it, leaving the crater which everyone avoided in case it ever collapsed.
2 decades on, the cracked tile in the center still held firm, but I wouldn't step on it any more now than I would have then. One far wall still had the small clearing of debris where I had learned to walk and play with other children, before quickly stumbling and losing that ability just as fast.
I made my way over to it, finding that it still must be used for the same purpose, grooves dug into the ground that suggested hopscotch, and both a small circle and large rectangle painted onto the wall for ball game targets.
The hollowed out construction frame the bigger kids used to use as a climbing frame was gone, but now they had various old furniture set up to create a child-sized adventure trail that made me itchy just imagining the diseases that infested the old fabric.
If this was where the playground was...
My cynet legs carried me along a path that they had never walked before, yet my mind somehow retained. If I'd felt like I was being guided before, now I was being carried, unable to stop the pull of something much stronger than a conscious decision. More than twenty years. I'd never attempted to return, but if I had, I'm not even sure I would have been able to find my way back there.
My father wasn't ever a citizen of The Republic. As such, he'd never had any kind of documentation that would have listed an address. Even if he did, the slums out this far were just designated with wards, make-shift homes constantly being built and torn down, as the ones who put them up had to move to avoid danger, find better chances at scavenging, and of course when they simply expired for any number of reasons.
That this community still existed at all was either a stroke of pure luck, or a sign that someone was keeping it afloat either by charity or necessity. A citizen looking to help the downtrodden to feel good about themselves, or a criminal protecting either their home or camouflage to their operations.
I never did figure out how you managed to hunt my father down in the slums just from him dragging me to a hospital once. I imagine that's why it was so many months after our visit that you showed up. You might have taken that whole time just to comb through the entire ward he would have listed for an address.
My journey came to an end when I found the old broken escalator that used to serve as a staircase to the higher floors. It had finally collapsed completely, leaving only the marks on the ground where it had been ripped out, as well as a large hole in the ceiling above. Even decades ago it had felt like a death trap, especially for my father and I, both of whom struggled on even ground.
I stared up at the hole, wondering if I'd been wrong. I thought Gelu was leading me here, letting herself be seen on the few cameras she was caught by to guide me close enough for my instincts to take me to her.
There was no way that she could have climbed up to the second floor, let alone any higher with how damaged she had been by her encounter with the auxilia.
I felt like a fool, chasing memories for nothing. Once again I was just a useless child who had let their emptions get the best of them. It wasn't as if Gelu even existed inside that broken android that had crushed the skull of a man who looked and sounded just like me. Still, she might not be able to make the climb, but I had to be thorough. At least that's the reason I convinced myself I had to go on.
I sprinted for a few feet and launched myself into the air, grabbing at broken rebar that dangled down from the second floor and climbed up to the higher level. Gasping, and even shrieking filled my ears, as it turned out the second floor of the building was used much the same as the first, and the people living up here were not prepared for someone to suddenly drag himself up, the loud clashes of metal on metal and then concrete sending them all into a panic.
"Are you stupid!?"
I pulled myself up, standing to full height and trying to find the source of the voice. "If you want to go to the second level, just say so! Don't scare the kids!"
I looked back down over the edge of the hole, and found a grumpy woman pointing a finger at me. She shrunk back into herself immediately as she recognized the legati jacket and began to waddle away, but I called out to her.
She froze, not turning back in my direction, but not foolish enough to ignore a direct order either.
The low hushed voices that had been everywhere I wasn't on the lower level had fallen to complete silence as everyone held their breath in unison. If I said the wrong thing, I had no doubt that any able bodied men would swarm me to protect their community in seconds. It happened all the time out this far. A legionnaire wandered into the wrong spot and was murdered by non-citizens. By the time other parts of the legion came looking, the whole community would have dispersed and found new hovels to crawl into.
"I'd like to go to the 6th floor," I say, then adding for good measure, "if that would be possible." The 6th floor was where I was born and lived, along with Ovid and my mother for a few years. That much I could at least remember.
When the building was in slightly less disrepair there were escalators that went all the way up to an 11th floor, not quite reaching the roof which must have been higher still. How all of those tiers had come down, I couldn't imagine, but judging by the huge hole that kept rising through multiple floors until my sight failed, it hadn't happened gently.
The woman turned around, panic still clearly plastered on her features, but she responded as calmly as she could.
"We don't use any floor above the second, legatus." There was a pause in which she clearly considered saying something else, but it was another voice that came from behind me that said what she was clearly afraid to.
"The metal lady went up to the 6th floor." I turned to find a group of children watching me with interest from behind a leather tent flap. A young boy of about 6 had spoken, and was being hushed by the others.
"We only let her up there! We don't want any trouble!" The woman from the 1st floor shouted up. More men and women were joining her and forming a crowd, some with improvised weapons very clearly on display.
"That's an awfully hostile way to say you don't want trouble," I respond, nodding towards the crowd which continued to grow in size. Had I taken the gun Chroma offered, I would have one hand resting on it to make my point. As it was, I just had to hope the crowd was aware that I didn't need one to rip through them all.
"Legatus, please... the second floor is where we keep the sick, weak and elderly." I look away from the growing crowd to survey the building behind me, and confirm that the few members who have stuck their heads out of shelters are not looking for a fight like those below me. "Please, just don't do anything to them."
A man had taken charge on the first floor, covering the first woman who had spoken with his whole body. I knelt down, squatting low enough that I could place both of my hands on the ground and get a vibration based view of the surrounding area.
Dozens more of the people on the first floor were readying weapons and quietly making their way to the crowd, and unlike what the man had said, there were clearly a bunch on the second floor for protection who were being as quiet as possible while ushering back others and surrounding me as best they could.
"I don't want any trouble either," I state plainly.
Putting a smile on my face or gentleness in my voice would have been a mistake. Weakness wasn't a good idea, but neither was open hostility or intimidation. "I'm just looking for the android who passed through here. She's my-"
My what? It was rare that I ever mentioned Gelu by anything other than her name. I froze for a moment before finishing with simply, "the android is mine. It's malfunctioned and I need to bring it back in."
A few whispers went though the crowd as I closed my eyes, and got a full mental map of the second floor. It wasn't just improvised weapons that surrounded me. Twenty feet away, and in another direction at 45 feet, there were accelerated heartrates creating enough vibrations that my sensors picked up guns that were being aimed my way.
"That makes you Fulgur Ovid?" The question caused my eyes to open wide, dispelling the sound based sight.
"I... yes, I am."
"She told us you'd be coming." The man who spoke, took out an old phone and began slamming a bunch of keys with his thumbs. "You had brown hair the last time I saw you."
I stared at the man harder, trying to find any feature I recognized. He looked to be middle-aged, with a bald head, and dark, scarred skin. One of his eyes was missing, uncovered, allowing the vacant hole to fester, while the other was a golden artificial II.
"You were a bit older than me, but I still remember your old man. A lot of us who have survived this long do." There were a few murmurs of acknowledgement from the crowd.
Looking at the man, it was hard to believe I was his senior. Having said that, it was surprising enough that anyone out so far from The Republic had survived 2 decades at all, let alone in the same place.
I wanted to ask more questions, but before I was able to, a loud mechanical screech drew my attention skyward. The screech was met with whirring noises, as what was essentially a large metal cage lowered from far above, and eventually came to rest at my level. It stopped with a thunderous crash, and shook gently for a moment before becoming still.
"Sorry for your loss. Both Ovid and the professor," the man who apparently knew me in another life said.
When I looked down, I noticed the whole crowd who had looked ready to fight before, now lowered their weapons, some even taking off their hats or making signs of prayer from old faiths. Such actions would usually make my eyes roll, but seeing the genuine remorse and respect, it only caused me to pause, even more questions welling up in my mind.
I pushed them aside once again, standing, and sliding open the grated metal door to the makeshift elevator before stepping in.
Before I'd even closed the door over, it began rising. Taking me away from all the curious faces that appeared to steal glances at me from the second floor as well. While they looked curious, I was utterly lost.
I had to put it all out of my mind in that moment however. I had a mission and it seemed like my goal was just above, waiting for me to come find her no less. I closed over the metal grate on the barebones elevator and rode up 4 floors, noticing along the way that there really weren't any people living between floors 3 and 6 anymore. Each floor after the second looked like any other standing structure in the slums. Partially collapsed rusted metal, rotten drywall, and crumbling stone covered in grime and refuse.
The elevator came to a loud stop at the 6th floor, it's rocking feeling much more intense on the inside than it had looked from outside. I had to do a little hop to step out beyond a collapsed part of the floor. From there, my feet carried me through the desolate halls as if in a trance.
Like floors 3 to 5, the 6th floor was barren other than the filth that naturally accumulated over years. No tents, or more sound shelters divided up the space, so I simply made my way to one end of the building, avoiding anything that looked like it might collapse.
Gelu had given up hiding her tracks on this floor, her haphazard steps and dragging limb providing me a path directly to my first home.
To the citizens of The Republic, Ovid was worth less than nothing. His very presence was a blight on their perfect virtual world. To those that called the slums home, he had been well respected.
Credits had always been out of his reach, but where survival was difficult, simple securities were a currency of their own. Food and water had been the main currencies he worked for, but above that he was given one of the few secure structures in the crumbling building.
Only a single room, and barely bigger than some of the tents below, it had likely been a storage closet when the building still served it's purpose. Four solid walls and a door that could be barred from the inside were enough to ensure that none of Ovid's tools went missing, nor the ancient hospital bed which doubled as operating table for cynet repairs and bed for the disabled child who couldn't make it all the way down to the ground where his parents slept on a mattress.
I push open the door, rusted hinges screaming in protest at the second intruder of the day. In the tiny room it isn't hard to spot Gelu immediately in one corner.
"Fuuchan, thank God you're here!" Her voice is tinny, synthetic, as the speakers that produce her voice outside of the duoverse have been damaged during the day. Gelu tries to stand and collapses to the ground as her bad leg falls out from under her. I freeze, wanting more than anything to run forward and help her up, but wary of what she had done to the last Fulgur Ovid she had met. "I knew you'd find me. Your netjack! I need your netjack, Fuuchan."
Gelu drags herself forward, one II hanging loose from her robotic head. As she drags herself through the filth the loose II rips free of its socket and rolls away, but the android simply drags itself on, barely letting out a whimper at the pain.
"Gelu, where is the Canis I'mprint?" I ask, stepping forward and squatting down, just far enough that she can't reach me.
"That's why I need the netjack, Fuuchan! The arbiters can't control it."
"What did you say!?"
Gelu lifts her arm, the usually surgical precision of her fingers lost, as the whole arm trembles, outstretched.
"Your netjack is the only thing that can free Iggy. Please, Fuuchan."
Even with the static and glitches, I can hear the desperation in her voice. At first I had thought that she meant that the arbiters couldn't control your I'mprint. A warning that they meant to use you for some nefarious purpose. Then I remembered the other voice which had spoken about my netjack on my last mission. Their final words before we both crashed, and only I survived.
"The arbiters aren't your problem. They can't even control your netjack, Fuufuuchan."
I'd fully intended to simply shut down Gelu with a single punch as soon as I located your I'mprint, but the second mention of my netjack being hacked gave me pause. That, or perhaps it was the tone of her voice as she pleaded for you.
I snap the netjack off of my belt, spinning it in my hand to offer her the device. I'd ignored it when the abomination made the claim, but with Gelu saying it as well, I can't help but wonder what else she knows. I prepare for the worst as she takes the device, ready and aware of the fact that I could prevent her from using it in any way if she made a dangerous move.
"What do you mean, free Canis?" I ask, as Gelu props herself up into a sitting position, examining the netjack just as she had in the video. "Gelu!?" I snap, causing her one remaining II to twitch up to me. "Talk to me! What happened with Canis!?"
"Iggy... my Iggy they- he was murdered by the artbiters, Fuuchan. The killed him... took my Iggy. They want to take more!" Gelu made all the sounds of sobbing while her metal frame simply rocked gently for a moment. Suddenly I was happy that I didn't have to see her duotar form give into the sadness and bawl her eyes out on the ground. If I had, I might not have been able to stop myself from embracing her as she so often had to comfort me. If nothing else it would have made my mission more difficult.
"I didn't- they took my memories- I didn't know they installed an I'mprinter. Not until... until..." Gelu placed the netjack on the floor, bringing her hand to her head and fishing around inside her own circuitry before ripping out a large data bank the size of a fist. Through the sobbing sounds and the shaking of her whole body, she gently placed the data bank on the ground, all her focus being used to stroke it with her one remaining hand.
"Until what?" I ask with genuine sympathy in my voice. My mission was so close, yet I couldn't complete the final objective, even seeing only the form that had terrified me as a child. "Can you show me through your IIs?" She was just a machine. A malfunctioning one at that. Those were the beliefs that I had to keep telling myself to prevent my guard from falling completely, yet I still couldn't help the emotion slipping through my defenses.
"My II's didn't store it! All the RAM was hijacked. They used me. My storage device. Downloaded him into me and then uploaded him through my neural network. I tried Fuuchan! I screamed and screamed! Begged and pleaded! Did everything I could to let Iggy know what was happening, but I couldn't move while it happened. Then- ... then they... he... my own hands!" Gelu let out a few more pained choking noises then stifled the sound with a choked swallow. She grabbed at the netjack, stabbing it towards the data bank.
A click, followed immediately by the sound of shattering metal.
The data bank was in my left hand, while my right had punched straight through Gelu's head. The death was as instantaneous as I could make it while also protecting the data bank that had to contain Canis' I'mprint.
A whimper. Several shallow shaking breaths.
That is all the time I allow myself to grieve Gelu's shutting down before grabbing at the dock on the data bank, and plugging it directly into my own throa2. A few seconds pass in which I stumble backwards, crawling through the same filth Gelu had dragged herself through until I get out of the room.
I explore the data within, finding only a few files other than the one I need. I begin transferring the data to my own neural network, doing my best to avoid looking at the scrap metal as I slam the door closed behind me and collapse, back pressed hard against it.
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| Art by The Drawn Legend: https://x.com/drawn_legend/status/1908958564548292753 |
For over an hour I sat against the door of my childhood home, watching the progress bar fill, and doing everything to avoid thinking about anything else. It's alarming to think about, knowing what I know now. If you hadn't illegally modified my throa2, as you had my IIs, I never would have had the storage space for an entire I'mprint in my neural network.
Or was that a lie, too? Is it just that my biological I'mprint brain has extra storage space and the neural network modification was just an excuse to cover up the lie?
Regardless, without the immense storage space you gave me, I would have had to take the data bank to somewhere with android bodies or computer equipment to access the file. I have no doubt in my mind that Chroma would have noticed me making those movements and sent the auxilia to collect me before I was able to speak to you.
She knew exactly what our conversation would lead to. After all, I was your creation. You not only gave me the tools, but also taught me almost everything I know. You won't remember this next part, but I'll never forget exactly how it went.
As soon as the file was transferred, I accessed it. You appeared, standing above me with a shocked look on your face as your head span from side to side taking in the environment. Even as the creator of I'mprints, you were unable to figure out what was going on. It was the only time I've ever seen you that way. You appeared younger, curious in a way you never were in my life. Always, you had the look of one who had everything figured out. Eyes always slightly narrowed, lips always bent into a practiced curve. You chiseled your mask perfectly, ever the thespian to all the world but her.
Those golden eyes found me, probing into my very being. I remember thinking that you somehow knew. That just with one look, you had figured out everything that happened and were about to try and ring my neck, but instead you just asked, gentle as you had been when my father died.
"Kid, what happened?"
"Canis-" my voice caught in my throat, and I had to swallow down bile that had begun rising with your name. Her name.
"What's going on?" Recognition began to fill your eyes as you looked at the door behind me, but before you could ask any more, I pushed myself up and stared you straight in the eyes, determination and hope damming any other emotion that threatened to drown me.
"Canis," I said, using the most serious voice I could. "I need you to calm down for a moment and listen to me when I say this. We don't have much time. Gelu's life is on the line."
There was another expression that I'd never seen on your face before: fear. I didn't have time to brace you for anything, as you had once attempted to when I'd lost a loved one. I simply plowed on, cutting off the questions I knew were coming.
"Where is Gelu's backup, Canis? I need to make sure it's safe before I do anything else. I promise I'll explain everything to you while we move."
Your eyes went from wide to narrow as you took me in fully. Face and legs covered in filth, legati clothes torn and frayed from operation Starfall. Finally your eyes froze on my hands, which I couldn't help but follow my way down to. I lifted them slightly, netjack still gripped tight in the right, and Gelu's data bank in the left. I don't even remember grabbing the netjack, but there it was. Both objects, as well as my right hand up to the elbow, were covered in blue liquid.
"There is no backup, kid." Our eyes met once more, yours filling with dread. "She made me promise I would never make another copy of her."
The air left my lungs and I couldn't even bear to respond as my vision fell back to my hands. Drops of blue were still beading at the wrist of my legati jacket and dripping down to the ground. "Fulgur, what have you done," my creator asked, the truth as obvious as the gore which dripped from me, but so unthinkable that it had to be denied.
Silently, I powered you off and reopened the closet I'd left Gelu's remains in.
This time I took it all in. No longer hiding from what I'd done, I examined the murder scene in full. The trail of blood leading to one corner where Gelu had collapsed, waiting for me to find her. The small pool of it where she'd almost bled out before I could arrive. The protruding tile she'd gouged her eye out on as she tried to claw her way to me. The shower of blood and flesh on the wall behind, which could never be put back together.
I cried. Not as I had for my father. No, I was far too broken by this point for wailing until my voice gave out. Silently, I fell forward, my own tears mixing with the blood and chunks of the woman who had raised me. Without a single word, I grabbed at the pieces and tried to fit them in their correct place, desperate to undo what my own hands had done.
Impossible. My hands were too strong for that. Her body hadn't just been knocked apart, it was destroyed totally. These red and black hands weren't built for precision as hers were. They didn't have the gentle touch needed for healing or mending.
I took her one remaining hand in my own, tears dripping over the lifeless flesh that would never again feel anything. I brought it to my face, whimpering like a child and bathing the hand in all my regret, washing away all the blood that covered it.
Even as I wiped away the stains, more dripped down from the sleeve which I'd torn free from her head.
Staring down at the corpse of my own mother, looking death head on, there was only one phrase that entered my mind.
